Growing Period
by Danym
Summary: Set after “Growing Together” in my Baby series. Grissom and Sara continue to make a life together. [GSR, Complete]
1. Chapter 1

Growing Period.

By Dany

Rating: T

Summary: Set after "Growing Together" in my Baby series. Grissom and Sara continue to make a life together.

A/N: It took me a while, but I did it. I needed a break from this story to take a deep breath and sort through everything I wanted to put into it and I hope I managed to do so well. This is going to be the final story.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

xxxxx

"It seems like this is the perfect place for us," Grissom said with a smirk.

Once again they were wandering through the wildlife park, but this time they were walking along the path they had not yet taken.

Grissom's statement certainly seemed to be true. Whenever they had something important to discuss, they came to this park. Today, it was him who had brought her there. After their talk a couple of weeks earlier, things had progressed.

They had really settled into their new home and were getting used to juggling work and their time as a couple. It was not always easy being around each other almost 24/7. That they had bought a house big enough for them to go separate ways when they needed a time out was a big help.

They had developed a routine where Sara would retreat to her study, listening to music and the scanner or surfing the net for an hour to relax. Grissom, for his part, busied himself with taking care of his bugs. That way they were able to regain some distance – from work and from each other. An hour of that solitude was enough for them to enjoy the rest of the day together.

They had also gotten better at social interaction, frequently meeting the others for breakfast or dinner and a movie. It was easier than Grissom would have thought.

But now, there were more important things than worrying about other relationships.

Right now, there was something about their relationship that needed to be discussed.

"This place is special," Sara agreed, snuggling up closer to Grissom as he kept his arm around her. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Since we were here the last time, I've been thinking about something. I don't know if we are at the point to discuss it, but I want to try."

A couple of months ago she would have reacted with a retreat, the potential for misunderstanding being great. She knew better now.

Grissom's words were still highly ambiguous, but she had learned to deal with his habit of keeping everyone guessing, so she waited for him to tell her what had been on his mind for weeks.

"Sara, we already talked about our future when we decided to buy the house, but do you think you're ready to talk about it some more?" Grissom couldn't believe he was actually the one to start this. He didn't know why; he just knew it felt right.

Sara nodded, still watching the different emotions play out on his face. They told her he wasn't sure about this at all, which worried her.

Having her assent, Grissom continued to pour out his thoughts. "Would you like to have children?"

His question startled her, making her mind pause and her breath lock in her throat. 'Would you like to have children?' That was more than a loaded question, one her mind had to process first if it started working again. Eventually it did and it made her travel back in time. She hadn't thought about that in a while, but she couldn't deny that it had played a big part when Grissom had started coming closer. Seeing him with Amelia had made her think about how it would be if she were actually their child. When they had gotten to the point where the 'closer' moved to 'close relationship,' other things had become more important. To even seriously think about having a child with him, they needed to make it work. That's what she had focused on. Only when they saw the little girl, her thoughts had started to wander.

Now they were once again wandering in that direction. "My first instinct is to ask you back, but that wouldn't be fair so..." She chose her words carefully, not wanting to fall into the same trap that Grissom did so often: miscommunication.

"I'll try to answer as short as I can. Given my history, I didn't think I'd ever want to have kids. My biggest fear would always be to become like my parents. Having a child is definitely not something to take lightly."

She didn't want her words to come across as too stand-offish, but there were things that needed to be said. "I can't make a decision right now. Well, I know that my opinion has changed; life has changed. I have changed, and now that I've regained some confidence, that sheds a different light on things."

She took a deep breath and realized that she was over talking again. Grissom's face showed confusion and deep thinking lines as he tried to keep up with her. "Simple answer?"

Grissom raised an eyebrow, letting her know he was interested to hear whatever she had to say. "Yes."

Sara paused and changed her position so she was in his arms in front of him.

"Yes, I think I want to have children, but only if you want to, and only with you."

Her last statement had the potential to scare him, but she hoped that he would be fine. She wanted to show him that she was serious, so serious that she didn't even want to think about doing this with someone else.

He took his time to ponder her words, weighing all of his options. It had been his idea to talk, but now it seemed as if her answer had taken the wind out of his sails. His eyes left hers and he stared over her head at nothing in particular. He was thinking.

"I had an answer for the question that I knew you would ask back, but now it seems to be an absolute mismatch," he began after a while.

Sara had just let herself be held by him, waiting patiently for any reaction. "I expected part of your answer and yet, I didn't see some other things coming. We are much more alike than the others think. I have the same fears and worries that you have. I worry about being a good father. I never thought I would even want to seriously consider it. But, I do think about it now. You have changed that."

Sara had to smile, quickly declaring that particular phrase as one of her favorites.

"Want to hear my 'simple' answer?" At her nod, he breathed out a yes and turned to smile at her. Sara leaned forward to bridge the gap and kissed him.

They didn't care that everyone could see them; this was another milestone in their relationship and it called for a celebration.

After taking their sweet time, enjoying the intimacy, they broke apart with huge smiles on their faces.

"I love you." Sara nuzzled his neck, not ready to let him go. She would never be ready to do that. She just hoped that he felt the same.

At the moment, it certainly looked that way. After all, he wanted a child with her and she would not doubt his decision.

"We still need to talk about a lot of things." When he saw her wrinkling her forehead, he hastened to add, "But not now. Let's just enjoy the rest of the day."

He pulled her into an embrace before taking her to his side again and continuing their walk, enjoying their time together.

Life was good.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Growing Period II

By Dany

Summary: One second can change a lot of things.

xxxxx

The rest of the day did _not_ continue as pleasantly as they had hoped.

They had been able to finish their walk in peace, but that had been about it. Not even out of the park yet, they had to stop because their cell phones went off - first Grissom's, then Sara's.

Stepping away from each other, out of hearing range, they took their calls. It was disappointing to hear that their day together would be cut short. The lab was tapped out and they had to go in early. Usually, that would not be a problem, but today they would have been glad if that call hadn't come.

With regret, they got into the car and headed home to change and retrieve their kits. Their moves were well practiced and they were back on their way to the lab in record time.

Throughout the ride, Grissom kept checking if she was alright, if she was angry - at them or at him.

Sara had closed her eyes to distance herself. Over time, she had learned to distance herself mentally or physically when called in after they had been particularly close. Normal situations she was used to; after all, she hadn't had a difficult 'relationship' with Grissom for years and without learning to deal with its complications. Admittedly, she hadn't always handled it well, but it had worked.

The temptation to look at Grissom was enormous, but she was determined to remain professional. When she finally did open her eyes, Grissom could see that she had made the transfer and was not angry. Knowing that she was fine left him the chance to do the same.

He went through the scarce information they had been given on the case. He could already tell it would consume the rest of their day and carry over to their shift. He just didn't know what else he should expect.

xxxxx

When they arrived at the crime scene, it looked like any other - just as disturbing and gruesome. They started analyzing and collecting evidence, not noticing how much time was passing. No matter what developments happened in their private life, they were still workaholics and often got lost in their jobs.

It was well into their actual shift when Grissom looked at his watch, surprised that it was already that late. He had finished the last room and packed up his stuff to go and find Sara.

"Hey."

She looked up and cast a tired smile his way. "Hey."

"How are you?" No matter how hard he tried, he could not stop worrying about her wellbeing. That wasn't new; it was just new that he voiced it and it seemed to positively surprise her every time.

"Doing okay." Her eyes told him that she was tired and that her words were just a facade, spoken for the sake of professionalism.

He nodded sharply, accepting that there was nothing he could do about that right now, but making a silent promise to himself that he would not let her log in any more overtime that day. Right now, it would be best to return to the lab and sit down for a while, so he motioned for the door. "Ready to go?"

"You bet."

She locked her case and got up to follow him. They let the officers know that they were done and watched as they left the house, taking one last look around to make sure they got everything.

Sara noticed that she forgot her small flashlight, her sloppiness belying her exhaustion, and went back to retrieve it. She returned to his side in a hurry, apologizing for being so clumsy. He waved it off and smiled at her, wanting to offer her more, but knowing he couldn't. For Sara it was enough.

Grissom left the house first. It was even darker outside, the streetlight apparently busted, and Grissom had trouble seeing anything on the porch. Being as tired as he was, his vision was obscured by the shadows and he miscalculated his next step.

His kit dropped onto the floor as he brought his arms forward to try and break his fall, but he only met nothingness. The next moment he heard a suspicious crack and pain shot up his leg. His foot had caught in one of the gaps between the porch planks and hadn't quite followed the rest of his body as it made its way down. He managed to catch himself with his hands just before his head connected with the wood, but he still felt disoriented and shocked.

He had only let out a grunt of pain in his fall, but that was enough to send Sara rushing to him. "Grissom!"

She knelt by his side, trying to determine if he was injured, but to her horror, he wasn't moving at all. She didn't know whether he was unconscious, possibly having hit his head, or if he was in shock. In fact, she didn't know what had happened at all. She hadn't heard a shot, but that didn't mean there was none.

Her hands slid over his form up to his head, and upon finding no blood, she released a sigh of relief. When she touched his head and began stroking it softly, looking for a bump, he moved.

His head lifted a bit and turned in her direction, but she could tell that he wasn't really able to focus on her yet. "Grissom, move as little as possible. I'm going to call an ambulance."

He grunted at her plan, probably not because he agreed. He hated being injured and he hated hospitals, but she wanted to make sure that he would be alright. The call to dispatch was made quickly. Another grunt from Grissom told her he wasn't pleased that everyone would know, but it was protocol and even he knew that.

Slowly, he tried to sit up, which she tried to prevent by gently pressing down on his shoulders. "Sara, I just fell. Please, let me up."

He was more lucid now, trying to seek out her eyes in the dark. The fact that he was able to form a sentence coherently reassured her somewhat and she moved her hands to his back to help him turn.

They managed to get him upright, but not without more than one hiss of pain and a string of curses. "It's my ankle. I tripped over something and my foot got caught."

Sara debated whether to check his leg or leave it until the medics came.

In the end, her desire to know what was wrong was stronger and she went to get her flashlight. She returned to his side in seconds, trying to put on a brave front by smiling at him. When the beam of light hit his leg, however, she couldn't help but flinch.

His foot was tipped oddly to one side and she saw a slight swelling above the ankle that was probably holding blood from the injury. She didn't dare to try and feel around, not wanting to hurt him any further. There was no doubt in her mind that something was broken.

Grissom would not like that at all.

She turned to look at him and found him staring at his illuminated ankle. "It's broken."

His calm assessment was so typical that despite the gravity of the situation, Sara had to smile. Even that smile couldn't help her fight the tears that wanted to fall. She had held it together until now, her worry overwriting anything else, but now reality had set in.

Grissom was hurt.

Yes, it was _only_ a broken leg, but it was also not just a scratch. For long minutes they kept staring at each other, taking comfort in the other's mere presence.

The nearing siren startled them and Sara hastened to wipe away her tears. "Sara, get the evidence back to the lab. No, don't make this harder than it already is," he forestalled her protest. "Just deliver it and then come and see me, alright?"

She nodded, knowing he was right, even if it hurt. She would never be able to forgive herself if the case was lost because of that.

She watched as they loaded him into the ambulance, waiting until it pulled away before going back to work. Although her thoughts were constantly on him, wondering how much pain he was in and how bad the injury really was, she remained professional.

Everything was loaded into their truck with quick efficiency and soon she was on her way back to the lab.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Growing Period.

Part III

Summary: Will Grissom be alright?

A/N: Thank you to Muriel and my wonderful beta Ace. You two have been a big help.  
On another note: I want to use this opportunity to list the stories of this series since there seems to be some confusion. The series includes: Baby powder, Baby lotion, Baby Bug, Child's Play, Growing Up, Growing Together, Growing Period.

xxxxx

Catherine was already waiting for her when she pulled up outside the lab. She pulled up as close as she could to the entrance, not intending to stay a second longer than necessary.

"Is he going to be okay?" Catherine asked when Sara got out to help move the evidence inside. The faster they worked, the faster she would be back at his side.

"It's a broken ankle. Otherwise, I think so." She didn't want to stop to tell the other woman everything, and Catherine seemed to sense that as they both hurried through the hallways to the evidence lockup. The others would take over whatever was time sensitive.

"Tell him that when he starts complaining that he nearly died. Men are such babies."

Sara appreciated the attempt to cheer her up and nodded before giving Catherine a quick round up about their case and what needed to be done. After a quick goodbye and some further encouraging words from Catherine, Sara was finally on her way to see Grissom.

Her thoughts were circling around the accident, not really making any sense.

The guilt she felt was irrational, she knew that. There was no way she could have stopped Grissom from falling.

Her head knew that, but in her heart, she still felt guilty. The man she loved had gotten injured while she was standing right behind him.

Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel every time she had to stop at a red light, her impatience getting the better of her. At the fourth red light she closed her eyes briefly and sent a quick prayer to heaven, wishing that there was nothing worse wrong with him.

She hadn't done that in a long time, never knowing if she had ever believed in god, but right now she felt like she needed every support she could get.

The shrill sound of a horn brought her back to the present and she put the car back in motion, eager to see if her prayers would be answered.

xxxxx

It was a while before she was informed of Grissom's condition, which almost made her jump down the poor nurse's throat. Only the arrival of a doctor had saved the woman, for he assured Sara that it had been a misunderstanding. She was listed as Grissom's next of kin and had every right to know what was going on, but a computer glitch had only shown an outdated list.

Sara was angry, not quite believing that story, while at the same time being surprised that Grissom had her on the list to begin with. Of course they had been together for a while, but somehow she hadn't expected that.

Soon she was updated on his condition and was able to breathe a little easier. Grissom had indeed broken his ankle and not just in a we-put-a-cast-on-and-wait manner, no. If he did something, he did it right. The bone had to be set in a corrective surgery and it would take more than just a couple of weeks for him to regain full mobility. But the main thing was that he would be okay, grumpy, but okay. That was all she had wanted to hear.

With this information she was able to settle down in the waiting room again until Grissom was brought into a room so she could see him. She had barely closed her eyes when a hand on her shoulder made her sit up.

Expecting to see a nurse, she was surprised all the more when she recognized Brass staring down at her. "Hey, gorgeous, you alright?"

He took the seat next to her, not leaving her eyes for a second. It was as if he was seeing right through her, and she felt a bit uncomfortable.

"I'll be fine when I get to see him and he starts complaining about missing work."

Brass laughed at the picture she had drawn, realizing the truth that was behind it. "And then you'll want nothing more than for him to shut up."

That drew a smile to her face and she closed her eyes again to wait. She felt better, knowing she wasn't alone, even if she knew that Grissom would be fine.

xxxxx

The sight of him in a hospital bed affected her more than she was willing to admit. He looked so different.

In fact, his pale face against the stark white linen bothered her more than the splint around his ankle.

It had been hours since his surgery and he had woken up once, which was why he had been moved down to a normal room. He had not really been fully conscious, not recognizing her because he kept asking for her although she was sitting right beside him. The doctors, however, hadn't been worried and had moved him anyway. Since then, he hadn't been awake again; she knew because she had never left his side.

Brass had left an hour ago, claiming his right to go to bed before he had to go to work again. He had been a big help. He had sat with her in silence, comforting her with his presence rather than words. From time to time he had wandered out, checking his and her mailbox, informing the others on the state of affairs.

Catherine had been the only one to drop by, the chosen spokesperson. They had respectfully stayed at work because they knew Grissom would be uncomfortable and would therefore probably add more stress for him _and_ Sara. That didn't mean they wouldn't visit later on, but right now, letting both of them rest was more important.

Catherine had taken Brass with her when she had left and now Sara was alone again.

Grissom stirred, his eyelids fluttering, but not quite opening. She moved her hand from his side to his face, carefully avoiding the tubes and wires. Her fingers traveled softly down from his temple to his jaw, encouraging him to open his eyes and see what was going on.

It took him a while, but he finally managed to open his eyes. Sara knew that they had to adjust to the light and waited patiently. Only her soft murmurs kept him from rushing things, so he was able to smile at her when his eyes focused.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she moved a finger over his lips, silencing him. "Shhh, you've had surgery to set your ankle. With the anesthesia, you will probably have trouble talking. Do you want some ice chips?"

He nodded slowly and Sara smiled at him brightly. It was a relief to her that he seemed to be aware of her and his surroundings this time. He hadn't even flinched when she told him about the surgery, so he must have remembered something and pieced it together.

When he licked his lips and attempted to speak after the ice chips had made his mouth less dry, she let him. "You okay?"

Her smile turned into a smirk, wondering how much more adorable he could get. There he was, lying in a hospital bed with a cast after undergoing surgery, and he was worried about her. "I'm not the one who tripped and broke his ankle."

She pushed some strands of hair from his forehead, needing to touch him. "The doctors took care of me. But you…"

Tears sprang up in her eyes as she realized what he was trying to say. His look turned to utter concern when he noticed her tears, and because she didn't know what else to do, to say, she leaned over and kissed him.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips before pulling back to show him that she was alright.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Growing Period

Part IV

Summary: Some unconventional notes help Grissom overcome some of his fears.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews. It really helps in writing this story.

xxxxx

"Could you at least try and stay out of trouble tonight?" Sara tried not to sound as irritated as she felt, but it showed.

It was Grissom's third night at home and he was already driving her crazy. When he was at the hospital, she had worked nights and spent most of her day at the hospital with him, only going home to catch a minimum of sleep.

She had planned to stay home with him for a week, but Ecklie had decided to be an asshole again and denied her the time off. Since they were not officially a couple for the higher ups, she couldn't forgo him and apply to someone else.

She had only gotten the first night off in exchange for her scheduled day. Warrick had been kind enough to switch with her so they were able to fly beneath Ecklie's radar.

On the second night she'd had to return to work and promptly all hell had broken loose.

The call had reached her while she was processing some fibers and she had immediately assumed the worst. What if he had fallen again and injured himself further?

Ironically that was what had happened – almost. She could hear it in his voice, the dejection and defeat as well as the shame.

Grissom had indeed fallen, but he hadn't injured himself further – only his pride. He could not get up. His foot was caught under the couch and he couldn't get it out without risking the healing process.

Sara had to try her hardest not to laugh, sensing that he would rather hang up and remain where he was instead of having to endure her laughter. She only managed to keep it all in until he had hung up, thanks to her iron will. She had promised to go home and help him out and not tell a soul about it.

She had made it home in record time and found a very embarrassed Grissom sitting next to the couch. His back was towards the door and his head didn't bend that far, so he couldn't see her. She felt a wave of sympathy wash over her as she looked at her 'fallen' love.

He really looked dejected and hurt, and she couldn't stand it any longer. She swiftly walked over and knelt down behind him. She kissed his cheek and smiled at him. "I wish I could be there for you."

Grissom smiled back, albeit hesitantly, and leaned a bit into her. "You are."

With a sigh, Sara separated herself and got down even further to assess the damage he had done to himself. It wasn't too bad, but the end of the cast had gotten trapped in a spring. How in the world had he done that?

Five minutes later, she had finally freed him and with her help, Grissom had retrieved his crutches and hobbled to the bathroom. She had left him there, knowing he needed time to overcome his embarrassment.

To give him enough time, she had left a note with a request to call her and headed back to work. As much as it pained her to leave him like that, she knew it was only for the best.

Her irritation now, on the third day, was more about the fact that she had again tried to get some days off before leaving for work, but Ecklie stuck to his decision. There was no way she could convince him, especially because she had the feeling he was doing it just to spite her. However, she could not prove that.

"I promise I'll be good." Grissom's answer was provocative to the core and delivered with a twinkle in his eyes.

She could have smacked him, but she had a better verbal comeback. "I will know about it if not, but if you're really good, you'll get a treat."

She knew it was unfair to bait him like that when he couldn't respond properly, but he had challenged her.

His resulting pout made her laugh. "See you in the morning."

She kissed his pout away and was gone.

xxxxx

"Shit!" Sara cursed when she looked at her calendar.

She had forgotten that she had made a doctor's appointment for midday. She wanted to be home with Grissom. Not working with him made her think about the time their relationship rivaled the Ice Age, and she needed his closeness after work to remind her that everything was different now.

The unfortunate accident caused a conflict of interest for her now. Sure, it was just a doctor's appointment, but for _this_ doctor, it was exceptionally hard to get one. On the other hand, it would only be a few hours, and she was doing this for them.

Conflict solved. Now she only had to tell Grissom what this was about. If she was honest, she feared his reaction a bit.

It was ridiculous, she knew that. Grissom would not react badly; after all, he had initiated it – sort of.

She emerged from her office and began looking for him. With his cast there weren't too many options, so she soon found him in their bedroom, reading through a manuscript. A fellow entomologist had asked him to read the draft for his newest book and, having nothing else to do, Grissom agreed gladly.

"Hey, you ready?" Grissom was trying to keep his nightly schedule and wanted to go to bed with her.

Sara bit her lip, showing her nervousness, and remained standing in the doorway.

"Sara, what is it?" Grissom had put the manuscript down and was now staring at her.

She knew by his look that she had inadvertently fallen back into old behavioral patterns and deliberately stepped into the bedroom away from the doorway. "It's nothing. I just forgot that I have a doctor's appointment at eleven. I would be no use for me to go to bed right now."

He looked as if he would question her at any moment, so Sara decided to put it all out there. "It's and OB/GYN appointment. It's a full checkup to see if everything is as it should be. I…I want to be prepared."

Grissom looked at her with wide eyes, understanding what she was trying to say. His silence made her self-conscious although she reminded herself not to equate silence with rejection.

"You still want it?" Grissom looked away and hung his head.

In one instant the dynamic between them changed. Now he seemed to be the insecure one while she saw herself forced to take a more active role. "Why would I not?"

She stepped closer to the bed until she was able to sit down next to him. He remained suspiciously silent, making her wonder what was going on, but then he looked up. That's when she saw it in his eyes.

"Whatever you think, you're wrong." At least she had his attention now. "Please don't tell me that this is about the accident."

When he was about to lower his eyes again, Sara sighed. "I thought we had been through this before, in length. We discussed everything before: your age, your hearing and what not."

He looked back up and she could see shame creeping up behind his eyes. "Good, you should feel humbled. Grissom, I'm not about to discuss this with you every time something stupid happens."

She stood up and walked out of the bedroom. At first he feared that she was mad enough to let him stew there alone for the rest of the day, but she returned not much later. Sara was carrying a notepad and a pencil, smirking dangerously. "Okay, let's get this straight."

She made sure she had his full attention before beginning to write.

"I love you."

She jotted that down, turning over the first page.

"I only want you."

Next page.

"You're the ONE for me."

"I thingk you're sexy and attractive and cute and smart and…"

She shot him a smirk, but still turned to the next page.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I want a family with YOU."

"I love you."

"No matter what."

Last page.

"Sara Sidle ... ... ... ... ..."

And then she held it out for him to see, wanting him to realize what she had just written.

In essential, she had drawn up some sort of contract. Now he only had to sign.

He looked absolutely stunned, not quite believing that she had done that.

"Sign." She held out the pen for him and he did. "This is a reminder, for both of us. I love you and I never want you to doubt that again."

"No matter what." His voice was firm again, and she could see his doubts receding.

"No matter what."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Growing Period

Part V

Summary: A conversation with "normal" people can be helpful.

xxxxx

As Sara was bustling around in the kitchen, Grissom was watching her from a chair on the other side of the room. "Isn't that a bit excessive?"

He tried to see what she was doing, but her back was turned to him, blocking his view. "No, that's what the recipe says. And now shut up and stop bugging me."

She was slightly cranky, not used to cooking for more than two, nervousness mixing with exasperation at Grissom's constant barrage of questions.

"_You_ are just cranky because you couldn't get into the pants you wanted." Once she realized what she had said, she blushed and tried to hide her face.

Apparently, he had understood it as well. He was spluttering and coughing, trying to suppress a laugh.

Sara dipped her head lower, trying to focus on the task of mixing the ingredients. The chortling behind her stopped and she heard some shifting.

"Honey, give me time and I will get into _the_ pants."

This time it was definitely a deliberate innuendo and Sara felt herself flush once more. This was getting out of hand. She took a deep breath, put the spoon away, and turned around.

With purposeful strides, she approached him and threw her arms around him. She pressed her body as close to him as she could, sitting in his lap. Their kiss was hot and feverish, working them up even more.

The last few weeks had been more than strange. Her declaration had changed something in him and he was pursuing their plan with more fervor than before, not minding his broken leg.

In addition to that, she had changed as well. The doctor had prescribed her some dietary supplement, but being someone who avoided medication of any sorts, they had quite an effect. She felt different.

It had been increasingly difficult for her to keep her hands from straying when they were close to each other. Not that Grissom might have rejected her advances, but the fact that he was injured made her hold off – at least for a while.

Soon he had convinced her that he wasn't _that_ injured and she gave in. But it was not just that she wanted to be with him more than ever, she herself felt…sexy.

She knew it was ridiculous to blame the supplements for these feelings. It was not likely just a psychological effect, but it felt good. Too good.

Reluctantly, she pulled away, knowing they didn't have enough time to finish anything, which was the reason Grissom had been complaining in the first place. They were having guests for dinner.

Not being able to get out much, Grissom had been getting stir crazy and she had felt the need to do something about it. She had thought about the rest of the team, but all the shop talk would only make it worse, so she had opted for the only other alternative: Patrick and Alex Knightley.

They had accepted the invitations gladly, asking if they could bring Amelia. Sara had been hesitant with Grissom's broken leg and all, but agreed in the end.

What harm could it do to have the sweet little child over that had ultimately brought them together?

The more difficult task was now preparing a dinner for four and a half people while being distracted by Grissom.

"I hate to say this, but we _need_ to stop." He pouted although he knew that it wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Oh, and please get out of the kitchen or I'll never get done," she ordered when she got up. As hard as it was, it needed to be done.

xxxxx

"Sara, that was a wonderful idea." Alex Knightley was helping Amelia feed herself as the girl happily munched away at the same kind of lasagna Grissom had made months before.

"It wasn't my idea. Grissom came up with it."

"Still, it's such a great idea just to alter the recipe for adults so that babies can eat it. Most people don't think about that."

Sara could see Grissom blush beside her and reached over to squeeze his hand.

"Could you give her the recipe? She probably won't stop until she knows how you did it." Patrick was amused that his wife could still be thrilled over something so trivial, but it didn't dampen her enthusiasm one bit.

"I'd be happy to write it down for you."

Alex nodded her thanks, turning her attention back to her daughter for a moment before looking at her husband. "Uhm, there is something we've been meaning to ask for a while."

Apparently they had because Patrick was silently supporting his wife and looking curious as well.

"When we met the first time," Patrick continued, "were you a couple back then? We got the impression that although both of you might have wanted to be, you were _not_ involved."

It was an unexpectedly direct and uncomfortable question from the Knightleys, but surprisingly Sara remained calm. Apparently, the same was true for Grissom.

"If you had asked us that back then, you would have opened a can of worms. One that _I_ in particular was not ready to face."

Sara squeezed his hand in a gesture of comfort. "It was my fault that we had to wait so long, but I was lucky Sara's more patient than I often give her credit for."

Sara smiled at him, blushing a bit because of the compliment. He was taking more of the blame than he should, but she would make it up to him later when they were alone.

"Actually, we've been meaning to tell you something related to that." It was their turn to delve into somewhat uncomfortable territory, but Sara thought it was the right moment. "You always want to repay us for 'helping you out', but the truth is, we have to thank _you_."

That certainly got the full attention of the other couple. "If it weren't for your daughter, it might have taken us a lot longer to see the light."

The Knightleys stared at them for a moment, taking everything in. They certainly hadn't expected that. Alex was the first to regain her bearings, looking at her daughter again, who was in turn looking back at the adults. She must have sensed that there was something out of the ordinary going on, and rewarded everyone with a smile.

"So let's call this a draw and forget about the whole who has to thank who, shall we?" Sara proposed, and everyone else agreed.

To her and Grissom, that was a relief. They didn't like being in the spotlight; it just wasn't them. No matter how open they appeared to be, dining with another couple, they were still people who were reclusive and only socialized with a selective group, their nature supported by their jobs.

"Does anyone want a second helping?"

xxxxx

Sara was grateful that she didn't have to go to work that night. The evening had been nice and definitely worth a repeat, but it had worn her out.

She had spent most of the day preparing for it and had missed out on her sleep. Yet, it had been all worth it.

After the main course where they had gotten the uncomfortable declarations out of the way, the evening had become much more enjoyable.

Grissom had discussed a new project that Patrick was thinking of introducing at his park, and when he found out that the other man was just as passionate about baseball, he finally fully relaxed. She, on the other hand, had found it a bit more difficult to talk to Alex. It wasn't that there weren't enough interesting topics, but she had trouble asking her what she really wanted. When the men had gone to Grissom's bug infested office, Sara finally brought it up.

She needn't have worried. Alex took it all in stride, having no qualms when talking about her relationship. Sara wanted to know how 'normal' couples did it and if they were really that different from others.

It was good to know that they weren't. Every relationship had its bumps in the road. Alex openly told her about their first tough time and the almost break-up that had been the result of it. Even her pregnancy hadn't always been rosy, but she told her that that was normal too.

Their conversation eased Sara's fears that they were not 'normal' enough to survive. They were not normal, but they didn't need to be. They were good as they were and they were definitely on the right track.

"Honey, could you help me please?" Grissom ripped her from her thoughts as he called for her.

She left the bed again with a sigh and went to see what the problem was.

Grissom was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, straining to reach something beneath him. As she stepped closer, she saw his skin still glistening and a towel lying just out of reach.

Smiling, she moved next to him, picking up the towel and began to dry his wet skin. Soon all traces of water were gone and she leaned down to collect her reward.

"Hmm, forget about your pjs." She could feel his lips forming a smile under hers and she had to strain to control herself and not crawl into his lap. The risk that they would fall was too great.

She gripped his hands, reluctantly separating herself from him, and pulled him up.

"Let's go and 'practice.'"

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Growing Period

Part VI

Summary: Things are not as easy as they seem.

A/N: Thank you so much again to Ace and Muriel, but also all the people who have reviewed. It's a big help.

xxxxx

Sara entered the bedroom, tiredly kicking off her shoes.

Grissom was already in bed, waiting for her. He looked up from his reading, but his smile froze when he saw the look on her face. Sara's face was ashen and her eyes were red. His worry spiked and he sat up.

When she remained standing in the doorway, he put the book away and stood up to walk over to her. Carefully, he reached out and touched her arm. "Sara?"

"I can't do this."

Grissom recoiled as if he had been slapped. He looked absolutely stricken, but he managed to control himself and not move back entirely. It took a while, but he was able to school his features back to neutral and focus on Sara. "Just take a deep breath."

His hands moved up and down her arms in an attempt to soothe her. "What is it you can't do?"

Despite Sara's statement sounding entirely too negative, Grissom didn't want to give up anything. For once, he had to be the strong one and hold Sara until she was herself again.

She gave a shudder and pushed her breath out through her clenched teeth. "I can't be a mother."

For the first time since their 'baby conversation' Sara voiced new doubts and Grissom wondered where they had come from. They had discussed the pros and cons at length, deciding that the pros really weighed out. They both wanted it. Not wanting to put too much pressure on themselves and too much strain on their relationship, they had agreed to take it slow. For the last six months, they had been 'trying' by simply leaving out the contraceptives without doing anything else. If it happened, it happened; if not – in a reasonable time span – they would consult a doctor. So far that tactic to reduce the pressure seemed to have worked, but something had obviously changed for Sara.

She seemed fine up until the day before. She had grown quieter than usual, but he had figured that she just needed a little bit of space. They had worked a lot the last couple of days, one case chasing another and they could both use some rest.

However, something _must_ have happened. Sara did not panic like that without reason.

"Why?"

Sara pulled back and wandered over to a chair next to the bookshelf on the far wall, lowering herself into it. Her head sunk into her hands, hiding her face from view.

Her response was mumbled and Grissom didn't understand anything she said. "Sara, please tell me."

She hung her head further, letting her hair cascade over her hands. Silence continued for a while until she lifted her head to meet his eyes. "I would not be a good mother."

Her response startled him. He thought they had already discussed this. Knowing the mistakes their parents made, relying on their own sense of right and wrong, along with relying on each other, they had agreed that they were ready to go that way.

What had happened to make her revert to self-doubt?

He wanted to ask her, but _she_ had to be the one to tell him.

"I don't have the temper to be able to stay patient. I will explode at the first opportunity."

The comment made his thoughts reel as he tried to figure out where it had come from. They hadn't had a case the previous evening that could have brought it on. Something else must have happened to change her mind. "What…how...what makes you think that?"

"I'm like that on cases. Why would I be different in my private life?" She looked down again, shame preventing her from maintaining the eye contact.

He still didn't think it was any of their cases, so he went farther back, trying to find a possible cause. Maybe someone had said something to her.

"If I believed that, I wouldn't have said yes. And if you really did, you wouldn't have either."

Although his knees were screaming, he knelt down next to her, taking her hands and enveloping them in his. "I trust you."

What was normally such an unusual thing for him to say rolled easily off of his tongue because he knew it was what Sara needed to hear. He had to give her strength until she found her own again.

It was quiet for a while. He could see that Sara was trying to work through whatever was bothering her.

When he was close to getting up because his knees couldn't take it anymore, Sara suddenly spoke again. "There was a child at the store. He was running around and his mother didn't stop him. But when he ran into a man and his shopping cart, she started yelling at him. He started to cry, but she took him by the arms and shook him to shut him up."

Grissom knew that that was Sara's worst fear. To lose her temper like that with her child would devastate her, and that was exactly the point.

"What did you do?" His voice was calm as he asked her because he already knew the answer.

"I stopped her." Her eyes were bright once again, but the tears did not fall. "As soon as I told her to stop, she did. She was stricken. She hadn't meant to go overboard."

The 'what if' hung again in the room, and momentarily, Grissom felt a bit helpless. What could he say to make it better? Nothing he could say would change her mind because Sara had to believe it herself.

"I trust you not to lose it like that because you _do_ know the consequences. But you have to trust yourself."

He did not want to give up their wish for a child, but for now, Sara came first. "If you want, we can both take some classes."

His proposal surprised her, but she considered it and finally nodded.

"But we have to do it soon. That incident at the store couldn't have come at a worse time."

Suddenly, there was something in her eyes that made Grissom's heart stop. Thoughts raced in his mind, making him slightly dizzy, which also could have been attributed to the fact that although his heart hadn't really stopped beating, he was holding his breath.

A spark seemed to have returned to Sara as she retracted her hand from his and used it smooth out his hair. "Breathe."

He did. He drew in a deep breath and the burning in his lungs lessened immediately.

Their roles were not quite reversed with Sara not being strong enough to take the lead completely, but Grissom was now the one that had trouble expressing himself.

"I'm not sure. I'm late. Four days."

Slowly, some thoughts stopped racing long enough for him to grab them and make sense of everything.

That was why she had panicked. Sara could already be pregnant.

"I didn't want to tell you like this."

Finally, Sara was able to smile again, even if it was only a small one. It gave him hope that soon they both would be thinking clear enough for them to truly enjoy the moment.

Sara was probably just showing nerves and her fears would diminish over time. That didn't mean that he didn't take her feelings seriously. He would still do everything in his power to make her feel better.

How he felt about it, he didn't know. All he knew was that it was a tingling warmth that made him love her even more.

"We'll find out together."

His knees just couldn't take it anymore, so he stood up, taking Sara with him. Carefully, he began to undress her until there was nothing left but her undergarments. He fetched her night shirt from the bathroom and let her finish changing before taking her to their bed. The covers were already drawn back and Sara slid in, followed closely by Grissom.

He rummaged in his bedside table and held something in his hand as he pulled her close. Her back touched his front, bringing them into close contact.

He held up his hand for her to see. The notepad that she had written her declarations in was now clearly visible for Sara. She understood what he was trying to tell her and took it out of his hands. She opened it to the page before last and stood it on the night table so that they could both look at it.

'No matter what,' glared back at them in her bold handwriting.

"We can do this together," he whispered into her ear, softly nipping it. "And we'll do everything you need to feel confident again."

Sara shuddered, but Grissom could tell it was positive. She was finally calming down and relaxing again.

Maybe they would be able to catch some sleep after all.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Growing Period

Part VII

Summary: Time to take matters into their hands.

A/N: Thanks for my two helpers who always offer great guidance.

xxxxx

"How many different brands does one person need?"

Grissom was standing in front of the huge array of items in the store, looking totally helpless but absolutely adorable.

Sara felt just as helpless but tried not to let it show. Her false bravado usually could not fool him – not anymore, and maybe it never had – but today he was far too distracted by other things to notice her deception right away. "I don't know. I guess we should pick one; any one."

Sara reached out and took a pregnancy test from the middle price segment.

"Maybe we should just go to the doctor." It was so Grissom not to trust anything that wasn't done 'properly' in a lab that Sara had to smile.

"And we will. But I don't have an appointment until the day after tomorrow. I don't want to wait that long. I want to know now. Don't you?" The question was unfair and she knew that, but she didn't want to stay there forever.

"Yeah, but how reliable are these tests?"

Sara rolled her eyes, knowing full well that he was stalling. She held up the small package, her finger pointing to a figure printed on the box. He wanted to protest, but a glare shut him up and he turned, ready to go.

To her surprise, instead of heading to the cash register, he headed deeper into the store. "Griss?"

He turned back to her, this time with a little grin on his face. "Dinner. Either way, we need food."

She followed him with a shrug, watching curiously as Grissom picked out various foods carefully. He seemed to have something in mind and she could only hope that her nervousness was not going to prevent her from enjoying the meal.

Despite her behavior towards Grissom, she was not at all sure that the test would bring them clarity. When she had set up her appointment with the doctor, she had asked about these tests. Usually it would be best to wait until a week after she missed her period, otherwise there would be no guarantee that there would be a clear result. But in all honesty, who had that kind of patience?

Maybe they would be lucky and there would be a result that could not be misunderstood.

She just wasn't sure if she was ready to face it yet – either way.

She wanted, more like needed, to know, but at the same time she was scared. It helped that Grissom was so supportive, trying not to show how excited he really was. If she was honest with herself, that was the reason she was mad at herself.

They had discussed having a baby and had both decided they wanted it. _She_ wanted a child.

She didn't know why she was so scared now.

If she asked herself again 'do you want the responsibilities, the stress, the long-term commitment, the emotional and financial burden, the constant challenge…the love and light a child brought into the world,' the answer was still yes.

Standing there in the supermarket, watching Grissom pick out the ingredients for a possible celebratory dinner, holding the box with the pregnancy test still in her hand, an odd calm overcame her. The nervousness was still there, but she found security in the fact that no matter what the result would be, Grissom would be there. He would do everything to help her.

She trusted him with her love and she would trust him with their child, so she could trust him when he did the same with her. Together they would find a middle in everything.

xxxxx

"Aren't you going to…use it now?" Grissom tried not to let it show as he unpacked the groceries, but he was nervous.

He never would have thought that it was a good nervousness, more of a welcoming anticipation.

Sara was still nervous because she wasn't sure if she could do it, but he had faith in her.

"No, I think I'll wait until tonight."

When he looked at her, a bit shocked that she wanted to prolong the torture of waiting, she hastened to explain. "The directions say 'first thing in the morning.' Well, for my body clock, that's not now. I think the result will be more accurate if I wait until tonight.

Although her explanation made sense, he looked crestfallen. The tension would remain for another 'night.'

However, he didn't let that stop him from trying to spoil her by making an extravagant dinner.

She wanted to help him, but he insisted on her simply taking a seat at the breakfast bar. He had something quite different with her in mind. This seemed to be the perfect opportunity to gather some more information.

He washed the vegetables and began to cut them, always keeping an eye on Sara to judge the right time to strike up the conversation.

He had been thinking about their precious conversation and how he could fix things. Sara's fear was not to be taken lightly and they needed to counteract it now before it had the chance to fester.

Sara finally relaxed some in her seat and Grissom took that as his cue to start. "Sara, can we, for one moment, forget what is resting in our bathroom cabinet and go back to what you said yesterday?"

She squirmed a bit and he could see her muscles tensing again, but she nodded. "I've thought about it and I think we should both take some classes, no matter how the test turns out."

Grissom didn't look up, instead focusing on the vegetables and his fingers. That didn't mean he wasn't aware of what was going on. He heard her shuffle, which told him that she was uncomfortable with this line of thought, but that she remained quiet was a good sign.

"I looked into it and there are several options. We could do something in the direction of childcare, parenting and such. Another option would be anger management class."

The last part was spoken much softer for two reasons. First, he didn't know how Sara would react and secondly, he didn't feel entirely comfortable with that option. It wasn't that he thought they were a waste of time – far from it – he just wasn't sure he was ready to share personal things.

"And, we could both go and meet with Dr. Wendell." He had deliberately included himself because he knew that whatever issues Sara had would also extend to him, as the father of her child and her partner.

Once again, he focused on preparing their dinner, accepting the silence to give her time to think. He was putting the filled zucchini in the oven when Sara finally spoke.

"We can make an appointment, see what she thinks would be best."

Grissom turned around and found her staring at him. Her eyes were brighter, and for the first time since she broke the news to him, he could see tentative joy.

"I'll be there."

Sara left her seat behind the counter, slowly walking over to him. "I know you will."

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Growing Period.

Part VIII

Summary: What a nice way to wake up.

A/N: Somehow I thought I had already posted this. This stressful week really messed with me. I hope the wait wasn't too long.

xxxxx

Already in the place of half-sleep, Grissom felt the bed dip and a body settle over his leg. It was not just anybody, it was Sara.

Only slowly, he regained his senses, remembering what they wanted to do. This 'morning' was decision time.

He tried to make his way to the surface of consciousness, carefully opening his eyes.

Sara sat on his legs, watching him. She looked so beautiful, her hair tousled, nightgown crumpled, eyes open for him to read. It was indeed time.

Taking in more of his surroundings, he noticed that Sara held something in her left hand, which lay on her thigh.

Hurt shot through him when he realized that it was the pregnancy test. She had done it without him. He looked back at her, showing his hurt.

At first, Sara looked confused, but then he could see understanding dawning in her eyes. She brought her hand up for him to see.

She was gripping the test tightly, her hand placed over the small result windows. The eyes were telling. Sara had taken the test, but she hadn't looked at the result. She had waited for him to wake up because this was something they had to do together.

So far, they had not spoken one word, letting the silent communication work for them.

Grissom sat up, aided by her getting off of his legs, looking unsure as to what to do. He took the decision from her and steered her by the hips so she was sitting sideways in his lap, supported by his arms. He needed to see her face.

They remained like that for a while, working up the courage to face what was in front of them. This had already changed their life.

When their eyes met again, she asked him if he was ready with one look. A small nod and the tightening of his arms around her told her he was, and she looked down at her hands, which were now both gripping the stick.

As if in slow motion, she lifted her hand and revealed the little windows. The moment they were fully visible, they both held their breath.

Minutes passed and they kept staring at the stick. The result was not as clear as it probably should have been, but it did tip the scale in one direction.

"Two lines, faint, but definitely there." Sara was the first to speak, not quite recovered, but getting there.

"Ready or not." She was even able to see the humor in it.

"We're having a baby."

That was the first time Grissom spoke, but the simple statement held joy and excitement. Grissom was really happy, and despite the still lingering doubts, she was happy too. "We're having a baby."

The stick fell out of her hands when she turned to embrace Grissom. He buried his face in her neck and rubbed it. She could still feel his smile and reflexively returned it.

Silence took over again, but it didn't bother either of them. In that moment, words weren't needed. They could talk later.

She turned her head and he lifted his, meeting her halfway.

xxxxx

"I don't want to go to work tonight."

They were still in bed, Sara lying in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. Her hands were tracing imaginary circles on his chest, relaxing and tensing his muscles at the same time. "Me neither, but I'm afraid it would be more than suspicious if we both didn't show up."

As much as she didn't like it, they didn't have a choice. It had been over six months since they had told the others and they had agreed not to lie if someone asked, but no one had. The expected call to Ecklie's office never came.

Now, that would have to change. With her being pregnant, they needed to play with open cards. It would not look good if they kept the baby a secret until she couldn't hide it anymore.

Suddenly, Sara felt Grissom tightening his hold, probably sensing that she had wandered off with her thoughts.

"Since we already agreed, I should listen to you because you're usually right on those things…" He sighed and pulled her closer still. "But just for the record, I'd rather stay here with you."

Sara had to smile, realizing this was more proof that they were on the right track and she didn't need to worry about their relationship. It would be strong enough to withstand any assault from outside. Soon, they would find out if that was also true for changes from within. Their baby certainly was a big change.

She felt better now that they knew, but she was still scared what kind of mother she would make. However, with Grissom being so willing to do everything to prepare, she was more confident. She would call Dr. Wendell after shift tomorrow and set up an appointment after the other doctor's appointment.

She groaned and attempted to get up, but Grissom held her tight. "Griss, we really _need _to get up."

A smile spread on her face and she decided to give into his playfulness for just a few minutes more, mock-struggling lightly against his grip.

"I feel like being politically tone-deaf today." He moved around until he had her pinned down.

Ceasing her struggling, Sara just lay there and stared up at him. "I know you like that, but we need to save up our good graces for the future."

She let out something like a purr when he rubbed his face against her neck. "Stop! Shift, remember?"

The look he gave her was that of a lost puppy, again resorting to playfulness.

"What has gotten into you?"

He cocked his head and seemed to think before he answered. "I'm happy."

That was somehow not the answer she had expected, but so much better. The simplicity of the statement blew her away.

Screw work, was Sara's last thought before she pulled Grissom to her, fusing his lips with hers. Work could wait.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Growing Period.

Part IX

Summary: Decisions are made.

A/N: Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and of course my two helpers.

xxxxx

They stepped out of the doctor's office together, smiles still fixed to their faces.

The doctor confirmed the result of the home test and congratulated them on having a baby.

Sara had started to warm up to the idea considerably over the last few days. That didn't mean she had also lost her fear, but she felt more in control again. They were still going to therapy sessions, she needed more security, but she had calmed down enough to enjoy Grissom's excitement.

She never would have expected him to be that into it. Sure, as soon as she had seen him with Amelia, she had known that if Grissom ever decided to leave his doubts behind and have kids, he would go all the way and be an amazing father.

In dealing with the girl, she had gained some confidence herself, but the reality of her own child had scared her. Suddenly, she had been not so sure she was ready for it anymore. Today, however, she had pushed her insecurities away to be able to enjoy the doctor confirming the initial diagnosis. She didn't want to remember the moment as one of fear later.

It was a happy moment.

She felt Grissom pull her closer and turned her attention back to him. He was smiling at her, and the glint in his eyes told her that he had pushed everything else to the back of his mind as well. This was their happy day.

To make sure that nothing could disturb them, they had both taken the night off, which had taken some reworking of the schedules, but the others were more than willing to help. They didn't tell them what they needed the time off for, and they didn't ask. Since they had told the team, all of them had been more than accommodating.

"I know that I'm usually the most anti-social person you know, but what would you say if I wanted to go shopping?"

What was normally Grissom's style of response had been adopted by her; she raised her eyebrow in a doubtful manner that prompted him to elaborate. "Would you be opposed to buying some books on pregnancy?"

Sara had to laugh, marveling at how utterly predictable he could be. Of course, Grissom would want to read up on things. That's what they were best at.

Going shopping for books was the only kind of shopping they really did with pleasure. Books had a soothing quality for her. They had always provided that; therefore it was only fitting that it was also a big part of their relationship.

"I would worry if you didn't want to do that." Her knowing smirk teased him enough to stop walking and pull her to him.

"_We_ are going to buy some books." His statement made her stomach drop.

The years that she had tried to take the lead and made a mess out of things had left their mark and she was always glad when Grissom expressed what he wanted without her having to guess. Like almost always, there was a playful element to their slight banter because otherwise, her stubborn streak would have interfered.

She had to admit that in this case, she was counting on him to take the lead because she needed to regain her footing first. "As long as you pay."

His kiss, that was meant to shut her up, only made her smile even more as she took the initiative and deepened it.

xxxxx

After hours spent wandering through various bookstores, they had several bags with pregnancy books. The first store hadn't been satisfying at all, offering a broad collection, but not the depth detail that they were looking for.

Three more trips to other bookshops had been necessary until they had what they wanted. It had taken them hours, and Grissom had proposed they would go out and eat. He was awfully sociable today, but Sara put it down to his happy mood.

Grissom's proposal led them to sit in a high-end restaurant. That was definitely more than she had expected.

"Should we call my mother tonight? Tell her the news?"

The piece of tomato from her salad stopped halfway to her mouth as it hit her that they had completely forgotten about his mother.

She and Lauren had just talked the past week, a day or so before she had noticed that she had missed her period. It was natural to want to share something like this with the family, even for Grissom.

When she remained silent, Grissom backpedaled. "We can wait if you want."

She could hear a trace of regret, sensing that he was too excited to wait. Why shouldn't he share the news if he wanted to?

Lauren should be the first to know and she was sure that Grissom's mother would be happy for them. "Let's IM her when we get home."

She put her hand into his and gave it a light squeeze. When she felt the action being returned, she looked back at him and found him smiling again.

"I think we are really getting better at this whole relationship thing."

Grissom looked thoughtful for a minute and when he nodded, she could still see the doubt in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I try. I really do, but sometimes it's just so very hard."

At first, Sara didn't know what he was referring to because in her mind, he was doing fine. As she kept watching him, trying to read him, it became clear to her that he still saw himself differently. Over the last few months he _had_ changed, but he had not gotten rid of all of the self-doubt he carried. It would take a while, just as it would for her, to get over something that had had years, maybe even decades, to develop. All they could do for each other was to be there and lend silent support.

Although sometimes, an opportunity was presented that enabled more than that. "You're doing fine. Without you, _I_ wouldn't have come this far."

She lifted their joined hands and brought them to her belly. She slowly unraveled their fingers and placed his hand on it.

Grissom looked a bit startled, but didn't pull away. This was the first time he really 'touched' their baby.

The last few days he had put his arm around her, even resting his hands on her stomach, but it was not because of the baby - at least not consciously.

Sara imagined that he had felt the same way she had. She may have been scared as to what kind of mother she would be, but since the test had come back positive, she had been even more scared that the test had been wrong. If she had tried to 'touch' their baby and hadn't felt anything, she would have thought that it was not real, that it was gone. So she had kept herself from trying to form a tangible connection before they had absolute proof.

Now, she didn't have to fear that anymore and he didn't either.

Their hands rested on her belly, hers atop his, and although it was still too early to feel anything yet, she could swear that she felt warmth seep through his hand.

"This is how far we've come?" It wasn't a real question, and nevertheless, she felt the need to answer by pressing his hand further down.

The smile on his face showed his awe, and it made her happier than she could have imagined. Maybe their baby was saving them.

Hopefully, they would never have to return that favor.

xxxxx

It was late when they pulled up at their home, but the day had been too perfect to cut it short.

Grissom had told her that it didn't matter because his mother would still be awake. She never had been one to turn in early, and that hadn't changed with age.

They booted the computer and waited for the IM window to open. If she wasn't online, they would have to wait until the next day.

Grissom took the seat closest to the monitor, but made room for Sara to sit down in the other chair they had taken from her office.

He was only slightly anxious about what she was going to say. He knew she would be thrilled, no doubt about it, just like most parents who had given up any hope of becoming a grandparent one day.

The program had started and they could see that his mother was indeed still online. Sara smiled at him encouragingly and Grissom began to type. /Hi mom./

The wait seemed endless until Lauren replied, making him sweat a little bit. /Hi, how are you? Is Sara with you/

He heard Sara giggle beside him, more as a relief of stress than true mirth.

/We're both here and well. Hi, Lauren./ Sara cut in, alerting the other woman of her presence.

/So, to what do I owe this pleasure if you're both fine./ Judging by her saucy reply, Lauren knew something was up. How, they had no clue.

/What, can't you believe that we just want to talk to you./ Grissom had taken over the conversation again, his smirk telling Sara that he wanted to prolong the sweet torture as long as possible.

It might have been a bit unfair, but this was some sort of payback for all the times she had made him squirm, asking about the state of his relationship – or lack thereof – and grandchildren – also more about the lack of. He knew it had been an attempt to be normal more than any serious questioning, but still…

/Congratulations, Sara. You made a communicative person out of my son./

This humiliation by his own mother seemed entirely too much fun for Sara to watch. He could tell by the way the right side of her mouth twitched, pulling slightly upwards. She was trying to hide it, but it showed.

One more round and he would end it.

/Thank you. You'd be surprised what else he has accomplished since our last meeting./

Now she looked deliberately at him, her smirk growing. She had given him the perfect opening to tell Lauren what was going on.

/Would you like to hear what is different now./ He could virtually see his mother's eyes grow wide when she realized the direction this was taking.

/My dear son, if you don't come right out and say it, I'll come over and…/

They both chuckled, imagining Lauren getting onto the next flight only to give them a slap on the hands.

Grissom turned to Sara, glad that only she would be able to hear him. "You are aware that she will just do that once she hears about the baby?"

At Sara's nod, he went back to typing. /Mom, if you would stop long enough for me to 'come right out and say it' we'll still be sitting here tomorrow./

/Hush, nonsense./

He looked once more at Sara who just nodded, giving him the go-ahead.

/Mom, we're having a baby. Sara's pregnant./

There was silence in the room and the cursor blinked on the screen as they waited for a reaction.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Growing Period.

Part X

Summary: How will Grissom's mother react to the news?

A/N: Sorry I'm a little late. This story will go on hiatus for about two weeks since I'm on vacation. I'll post the next chapter as soon as I get back.

I fixed the formatting in Part 9 because I noticed that the tags I put in for the IM conversation didn't work. Let's see if it works this time.

xxxxx

The cursor blinked on the screen, waiting for them to send another message, but they would not.

Their eyes were glued to the monitor, still waiting for any kind of reaction from Lauren, but so far, there wasn't one.

Sara had taken hold of Grissom's hand, squeezing it. He didn't seem to feel how hard she actually squeezed, for he was focused on the screen.

He had tried to reassure her that his mother wouldn't react badly. On the contrary, she would be overjoyed by their news, and the way she had gotten to know Lauren, she would have thought so too.

Now that minutes had ticked away and there was no reaction at all – at least none they could see – she started to worry.

"Give her time," Grissom whispered, squeezing her hand back lightly, relieving the pressure on his own.

As soon as he had spoken those words, a response popped up on the screen. /I could ask if I suddenly switched conversation partner(s) or if you might have misspelled some words, but right now I'm too happy to care/

Her message was followed by a link.

Grissom opened it, and what they saw made them smile. They were looking at a photo of Lauren smiling broadly at the camera, holding up a piece of paper that read 'Congrats!'

To Sara it was the best response she could have hoped for. This was her family now, and she was so glad that they had not waited to tell Lauren. This was right.

/Thank you, Mom./

/Sara, dear, please don't be shy to write me at any time. Even when you think it's something silly./

Sara was glad the other woman offered that because she was sure she would need the extra support. Sometimes, Grissom was more than a bit obtuse, although he didn't mean to be, and she wasn't sure if he could help her then. He wasn't doing it on purpose and he would beat himself up over it for weeks, but it made certain situations even more difficult when she didn't have the patience to deal with him.

/I will, thank you./

/Now, you both have to promise me to keep me posted and send me copies of the first pictures of my grandchild./ Even through the written words, her excitement was transparent.

Sara was sure that Lauren was so over the moon that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. /We will./

Suddenly, Grissom pulled her away from the screen and into a hug. His lips clashed against hers as they both lost themselves in their closeness.

For minutes, they forgot all abut the rest of the world, relaxing in the knowledge that they were together, sharinng something amazing.

Only the third chime brought them back to reality. Lauren had written several messages that they had not noticed.

The first read /I'll hold you to that/ followed two minutes later by /Celebrating? . /

Sara felt the heat rise up in her face. Grissom's mother had caught them making out, so to speak.

If she had thought the second comment was bad, the third definitely made her cheeks redden.

/Don't let me stop you. I'll leave you to it, but you should move this elsewhere. The bedroom is so much more comfortable. ;) /

Sara couldn't believe what she had just read. This _was_ getting caught by your parents.

Grissom began typing. /I could tell you that we were just getting some tea, but you wouldn't believe us anyway, so…I love you, and see you soon./

xxxxx

The appointment with the therapist went well, but she was glad to be back home. They had gone their separate ways, Grissom retreating to his office to feed his bugs and she going to hers to lock the world out – at least for a moment.

The session had been intense, a lot of truths had been revealed, and now they both needed some space.

It had come as a shock to her that Grissom was worried because of the pregnancy.

He worried about her, physically as well as mentally. He worried about the baby's health. He worried about being a good father.

And yet, his excitement and joy were real.

He wanted their baby and would love it as best as he could, no matter what.

What had surprised her in all of this was not that he had those fears; it was how well he still hid the depth of his feelings. She suspected that this time, it was not because that was just what he did, but because he wanted to help her.

If they had both panicked, who knew what would have happened.

She felt better now, knowing that they were both dealing with it and working on it.

Together, with the therapist, they had made a plan that would help them reduce their fears to a manageable level. Dr. Wendell had commented that they were a good step further than most people because they knew what they feared and why they feared it, and they were ready to do something about it.

Along with more sessions, they had agreed on the usual preparation courses. Dr. Wendell had also recommended that they spend some time with small children to see that there was nothing they had to fear in everyday situations. Anything else, she had deemed too excessive for the moment. If they didn't feel more comfortable, they could make new plans.

All in all, Sara felt better because she knew they were doing something. She was even more relieved that Grissom would be there with her every step of the way.

To distract herself from everything a bit, she booted her computer and opened the e-mail program. She was not really surprised to find an e-mail from Lauren.

The day after they had told her that she would become a grandmother, she had received the first e-mail.

Lauren had wanted to know if she was really okay and if she could do anything for her.

It had taken her quite a while to come up with a reply, but she finally knew what she wanted. She had asked Lauren for one baby photo of Grissom and a story about her and how it was to be pregnant. To reassure Lauren that she didn't intend any mischief with the possibly 'incriminating' information, she told her the truth.

She was scared and she wanted something to hold onto. There were a lot of portrayals of pregnancy, but they all felt skewed to her – showing only bits and pieces. She knew Lauren to be an honest and pragmatic person, and she counted on her to tell her the good and bad things as they were.

It felt a bit weird, to ask the mother of her partner, but she wanted the truth and not some over-dramatized version – either way.

The little paperclip on the side meant that she had at least gotten the picture.

Her lips formed a smile when she opened the attachment without even looking at the e-mail. The photo was perfect.

Little Grissom in a cute jumper, lying on a blanket, staring up at the camera. He clutched a small teddy bear by the ear and smiled a toothless grin. At that moment, Sara prayed that their child would look exactly like that.

She decided she'd print the photo out later and she knew exactly what she wanted to do with it. She had one picture of herself as a baby similar to the one she now had in front of her.

Although her childhood could generally not be considered especially happy, this picture was something she treasured because it showed her and her brother – her smiling happy brother, laying next to her on a blanket, holding her tiny hand in his. Grissom held his teddy bear, and she held her brother.

She wanted these pictures along with a recent one of Lauren to go into a baby album. It was such a sentimental idea, but she couldn't resist.

She shut the window with the photo and returned to the text of the email.

Lauren's description was a bit disturbing at first, describing her how the first trimester of the pregnancy had worn her down. It hadn't been the so often claimed pregnancy symptoms; it had been her own mindset that had caused her problems.

Lauren had been scared. Just like she was now.

Only back then, it had been the actual family situation that had the other woman worried that she would not provide her child with everything he needed.

She'd had a falling-out with Grissom's father, who hadn't been able to support a family at that time. He was never home and yet, there wasn't enough money. After about half of the pregnancy, he came to his senses and found a job that helped them with a steady income. Some of the fears were eased then, but a little grain of doubt remained and did so until after Grissom was born.

It was not exactly a pretty picture that Lauren painted, but she also told her about the times that she loved being pregnant: the first time she felt the baby move, the first time she could actually 'see' him when her stomach expanded, the times when his father had his arms around her and touched the bump, the connection she felt with her baby, and so much more.

Her whole depiction of those feelings moved something within Sara. If a woman as strong as Lauren Grissom was scared and could deal with it and still enjoy that time, there was hope for her.

It gave her strength to know that her fears were not something that only she felt. It wasn't her own failure, not hers alone; it was something that other women felt as well.

She had finished reading and pulled the photo back up on the screen, staring at it with a dreamy expression on her face.

For now, she had nothing but this dream, but in a few months she would be able to watch her own child.

And she looked forward to it.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Growing Period.

Part XI

Summary: Sooner or later they had to face him…

A/N: Back from my vacation and all I can say is that I wish it had been longer. Going back to work this week sucked. Anyway, here's the next part of my story. Enjoy.

xxxxx

"Sara, can I talk to you?" Jim Brass came up behind her, stopping her on the way to Grissom's office.

She took a quick look at her watch and shook her head when she realized she didn't have enough time.

"Not here, I would like to talk to you in private."

One eyebrow went up as she wondered what had gotten into Brass. He was being too secretive for it to be anything positive.

"I'm really short on time. I'm sorry; I can't." She looked back in the direction of Grissom's office, wondering if he was already waiting for her.

"Shift is long over. Come on; I'll buy you breakfast." He really seemed intent on getting to talk to her in private but it was impossible for her to cancel her plans.

"Really, I am sorry, but I can't. Why don't we meet before shift starts tonight?"

His face turned slightly sour, but he must have realized that he didn't have another choice because he agreed. "Alright. Ten - at the diner?"

"See you there."

Before he could delay her further, Sara turned and continued her way to Grissom's office.

The door was closed, but she knew he must have been within waiting for her. She entered without knocking and found him poring over his papers, still consumed by work.

Only when she cleared her throat, did he look up. To Sara, he was most adorable when he looked like that: hair a mess, reading glasses on, tongue peeking out, his clothes a bit crumpled after a long shift.

"Hey, did you forget our appointment? Or did you just not want to remember?"

She could not resist the tease, hoping to make him smile. She succeeded, and he smiled back at her. "Actually, I thought I should use this opportunity to reduce the mountain of files on my desk. You know, make a good impression."

She groaned in response, but he didn't mind. No amount of reduced paperwork would help them with what they were about to do.

"Let's go."

Grissom put everything away and got up to follow her out.

The hallways seemed twice as long, and she knew it was because she dreaded what was about to happen. The next minutes would decide their future.

They reached their destination, but neither actually wanted to take the last step. It was Grissom who acted first and knocked on the door to the sheriff's office.

They were called into the assistant's office and had to wait for a few more minutes.

Sara could swear the clock on the wall was ticking that loud on purpose. She diligently tried to concentrate on something else, but it was no use. The tension that must have been rolling off of her in waves made her want to pace, but a look from Grissom kept her from getting up.

Suddenly, the door to the inner office opened and they were face to face with Rory Atwater.

He looked surprised at Sara's presence and turned to Grissom. "I thought _we_ had a meeting."

Grissom stood up and ignored the implication that the sheriff was not pleased to see Sara accompanying Grissom.

"I requested this meeting so _we_ could discuss something with you. Would you mind if we took this inside?"

Atwater seemed to have forgotten that they were still in his assistant's room, but when Grissom reminded him, he shot him a scolding look, turning on his heel, not even waiting for them to follow.

Sara's look told Grissom to tread carefully. They needed that man's support.

Grissom nodded and let her pass into the inner office. She sent a quick prayer that they would make it out of this with both of their jobs intact and waited for Grissom to follow her into the lion's den.

xxxxx

She felt as if she was only seeing a remote version of the world. Everything seemed so far away, so unreal. Dimly, she realized she was still a bit in shock.

They were on their way home, not exactly in the mood to join the outside world.

While Grissom drove, seemingly unaffected by the events that had taken place in the sheriff's office, Sara couldn't quite wrap her mind around everything that had happened.

Normally, she never took a backseat, not letting others do the work and make decisions in her life, but as she watched the drama unfold, she was glad that she didn't have to be in the middle of it.

She had never seen Grissom like that, and at first, it had scared her a bit. Soon, she realized that Grissom didn't want it to be like that, but he didn't have another choice if he wanted to help them. That was how the big boys played, and that's why he usually chose to play elsewhere.

Once Grissom had told him that they were living together and expecting a baby, Atwater had turned beet red and had started yelling at them. His outburst had shocked her into silence. She had expected his anger, but not like that.

Grissom let him vent before calmly stating that they had only told him because it was the polite thing to do and nothing more. That lead to another tirade, mostly about the reputation of the lab, but Grissom remained unimpressed. Again, he waited until Atwater had blown his cork, but this time he only stared at him.

It had the same effect as if he had spoken because Atwater seemed to realize that Grissom was far more dangerous than he let on. The sheriff sat back in his seat, thinking about the situation while observing them.

When he had deemed the time was right, Grissom spoke. He made it clear that he didn't want there to be any sanctions against Sara or any damaging effect on her career. He would hand over her supervision, but would not accept a change of shift for either of them.

Atwater continued to listen and Grissom used the attention to make more demands. He wanted their workload to be reduced, which meant nothing more than they would start working normal hours, and he wanted discretion, but no secrecy.

All the while, Sara had only one – very stupid – thought: Catherine would have been proud.

The silence after Grissom presented his demands gave her time to think again. She wondered if Grissom was bluffing. She was guessing as to why he believed the sheriff would see them as more important than the others.

Although nothing Grissom asked for was out of the ordinary, Atwater felt as if he was being pressured and exploded again, making it clear that he did not want to make exceptions for anyone – especially Grissom. This time, Grissom cut him off. "If you don't like it, fine. I will find someone else who can use some expertise and a little bit of funding."

Her head whipped around, and she stared at him. Funds? This was about money?

She met his eyes and they told her that he would explain later.

"You are aware that this is…"

"Blackmail? No," Grissom cut him off, making Atwater look even more surprised.

"What I'm asking for is not outside of what I'm entitled to. I am well within my rights." That seemed to be the final argument because Grissom, as well as Atwater, fell silent.

Sara felt a bit left out, but on the other hand, she was glad that she was not directly involved in that. Like Grissom, she didn't like to play politics - her temper was too short for that. She didn't handle those undercurrent threats very well, but she didn't need to.

When Grissom decided to play with the big boys, he went all the way.

Atwater seemed to be completely in his hand. "What if Miss Sidle is further along in her pregnancy? How will you deal with her then?"

It was one last attempt to regain the upper hand, while it also was a sign that he had begun to crumble.

Grissom looked at her again, leaving the answer up to her, and for the first time since they entered the sheriff's office, she spoke. "I want the same treatment that this lab extends to every pregnant woman - nothing more and nothing less. I'm sure that Dr. Grissom is more than capable of handling the situation with the utmost professionalism. Everything else will be dealt with outside of the lab. We've already proven that it's possible."

After that, Atwater had nothing more to say than to add that one mistake would leave them to deal with the repercussions.

They had gambled with high stakes and won.

Grissom had won.

From her seat on the passenger's side, she glanced over at him.

On first glance, everything seemed normal, but when she looked closer, she saw that he was just as affected as she was.

His hands had a tight grip on the steering wheel, appearing fixed to the spot. His eyes were drawn together, the wrinkles more pronounced. He was in deep thought. The last giveaway was his whole posture - his back was practically pressed into the seat, possessing the same rigidity as his arms.

Grissom was tense, pondering the things that had happened.

Sara turned back and stared out the window. She could wait.

He had promised her that he would explain things later, and he would, even if she had to make him.

When he pulled the car into their driveway, he didn't get out. He kept staring straight ahead. Sara waited until he suddenly began to talk.

"Since I started working for this lab, the solve rate has gone up. It's not me directly, but my team - you. However, better solve rate, improved reputation. Reputation equals money. Each sheriff pretended that money was tight when in truth, we have enough to have the best equipment and stay up-to-date. You can't get that just because of some sweet talk."

Sara remembered the times when Warrick, Nick, or Greg or other lab techs had come forward to ask Grissom for a new 'toy,' and although he had grumbled and denied them at first, these 'toys' had always appeared some time later. Their lab was definitely well-equipped, but she had never bothered to ask herself how that was possible when Ecklie was always bitching about the tight budget.

"The offers for new equipment land on my desk for my shift for a reason."

Sara was speechless. They had all underestimated Grissom – herself included.

"But, you know, I was still bluffing. They don't like me and never will. They _could_ find someone else."

"You are _not_ replaceable!" she insisted and leaned over and kissed him.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Growing Period

Part XII

Summary: Sara's curious what Brass has to say.

xxxxx

Brass was already waiting at a table when Sara entered the diner.

She was a bit nervous, not knowing what Brass wanted to discuss with only her, in private. It was an odd request - one that she had barely remembered.

The stress of the morning had depleted her energy level, and her mind had refused to keep working. Sleep had not come easily, but when it came, it hit her hard. They both slept longer than they were used to, which made waking up even crueler.

Her brain foggy, she did not remember she was to meet Brass until Grissom mentioned a breakfast invitation from Catherine for next week. She made it just in time, but Brass was already there.

He looked doubtful, which made her even more afraid to ask what was wrong. If Brass was worried enough to lick his lips as well, then it was definitely not something good.

"Hey!" She slid into the bench opposite him, giving him a wary look.

"Hey." That was all. No 'how are you' or 'how's Grissom.' Monosyllabic Brass worried her even more.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

He nodded, but remained silent. Sara waited patiently for him to come out with what was bothering him. He didn't speak until she had ordered coffee. "Sara, I don't know how to ask this, but are you still happy?"

His question confused her. She didn't know where his worry came from, so she just stared at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head.

"Grissom - is everything alright between the two of you?"

Sara pushed back into her seat, stunned by what Brass had just asked her. "Wh…why would you think something's wrong?"

Even more nervous now, Brass wiped some sweat off of his forehead before he tried to explain what was going on. "Look, I'm worried about you. You've looked a bit…disheveled the last few weeks. Always somewhere else with your thoughts. Circles under your eyes. Pale face. Barely talking to anyone anymore. I just…I'm worried."

She hadn't been the picture of health and radiating happiness recently - he had a point there - and she was flattered that he kept an eye on her, but that he jumped to the conclusion that their relationship was on the rocks?

Although he only had the best intentions, Sara could feel her anger rising. It felt like an invasion of her privacy. She didn't like their relationship becoming an open issue for everyone to join in.

Brass was one of Grissom's closest friends and he had just insinuated that he had hurt her.

"Sara, please calm down."

She was about to stand up and leave when Brass placed one of his hands on hers. "I'm sorry. Will you please listen?"

Taking her time to think, she finally realized she needed to hear why he was doing this. She nodded sharply and settled back into her seat.

"I'm sorry if I made the wrong assumption. I was just thinking that Grissom might have been his insufferable self again. It looked like you were suffering the most, but then, Grissom is the master at hiding what he feels. And now that you're together, I guess I want to make sure that you're okay and you know you're not alone if push comes to shove."

It was dangerous territory he was passing into, but Sara did nothing. She sat there and mulled over his words. There were several angles she had to cover.

"First of all, I appreciate the thought, but our relationship is _not_ open for discussion. And secondly, Grissom did nothing wrong. He loves me and we're okay. Just because I've had some problems recently does not automatically mean that Grissom's been an ass."

The somber mood lifted a bit as Brass chuckled at her comment.

"Grissom has changed. You wouldn't believe how much."

For a brief moment, she remembered how attentive he had become, but since she would never tell anyone else about that side of him, she quickly returned to the present.

"Alright, I'm sorry. But you can't argue the fact that you don't look so good."

She had already admitted that she had problems, but how much should she tell him? She and Grissom had talked about how and when they should tell anyone else about the baby. She knew she should probably wait until the first trimester was over, but she was torn between wanting to tell someone and talking to Grissom first.

"I know. I'm getting better." When he didn't look like he believed her, Sara tried to reassure him. "Really! I know you still have some doubts, but I promise; I'm feeling better."

The way he tilted his head and licked his lips told her that he still wasn't convinced, and she debated how much she could tell him without tipping him off. "I had to think a lot about my family and what it means to me today."

She hadn't shared her secret with anyone other than Grissom, but she could see recognition in Jim's eyes. He knew that whatever it was, it couldn't have been pleasant. "Let's just say that I will do anything not to have my relationship with Grissom end up like that. We discussed a lot of things and not all of it was pleasant. But we, I, am back on track."

She felt bad for bending the truth a little, but she couldn't tell him everything. She looked at Brass more closely, seeing that he was still worried.

He didn't know if she was able to handle the stress in their relationship. Her first reaction was to be insulted by his lack of confidence. The second, more thought out reaction, was to chalk it up to worry and either ignore it or try to soothe him.

"Jim, I'm fine. We all have times where things aren't as simple as we want them to be."

"With Grissom or in general?" What was he trying to do, make her lose it?

Sara's anger spiked, but she managed to keep it under control. "Why won't you leave it alone? I thought we were through this? I'm fine! Well, getting there."

Brass sat back and watched her, making Sara wonder what kind of game he was playing. He was playing a game of sorts - that much was clear to her.

"Jim, what's going on?"

He sat up again and cleared his throat. "Don't kill me, okay? But last year, just before Grissom pulled his head out of…I felt you slipping."

She knew what he was talking about; she had felt it too. She had been losing her grip and she had thought she had it under control – until she had that talk with Grissom and made the list. That's when she had regained her grip.

"I've been watching you ever since. I feel responsible, although I know it's your life. You are a friend Sara, and I'm not about to let one of my friends drown."

This was the most honest she had ever seen him, and now she understood how two seemingly opposite guys could be friends. They had been cast in the same mold.

"No one helped me, back when I was in trouble. I want to be a better friend."

Sara was moved by his words. What had she ever done to deserve this? She had people that watched out for her, doing whatever she needed. She had Grissom and…their baby.

She had a family; after all those years, she had a real family.

When she looked at Brass again, she saw all of his worry, respect and friendship, and she couldn't help herself anymore. "I'm pregnant."

Brass looked at her, his shock making his eyes go wide and his mouth drop open. He did a pretty good imitation of a goldfish. It was her turn to become worried when no reply came, but she didn't have to be.

Soon a huge grin spread over his face and he began laughing. She laughed with him although she didn't know why. Maybe it was just a way to relieve tension, but it felt good.

Suddenly, Brass leaned over and kissed her on her cheek. "Congratulations, girl. I'm really happy for you!"

She was still smiling when her thoughts started spinning and she realized how odd their conversation had been – she'd gone from worried to happy in one go, and she still hadn't taken one sip of her coffee.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Growing Period.

Part XIII

Summary: How does Brass really take the news?

A/N: Thanks to Ace and Muriel, who as always have been a big help. Your work on this is really appreciated. Of course, also thanks to all of you who keep sending me reviews.

xxxxx

Sara stood outside Grissom's office, watching him as he scribbled his signature on some reports.

They had told the sheriff that they wanted to cut back on work, but Grissom had obviously decided to go in early. Old habits die hard.

If she was honest, that was why she was there too. She had left Brass early enough so she would get to see him before shift started.

There were thirty minutes until they had to meet the others in the break room, but she wasn't sure if that was enough. She had no choice, though, her conscience driving her to tell him that moment.

Making as little noise as possible, she entered his office and closed the door. She intentionally left the blinds open, needing the security that they provided to retain a modicum of professionalism. She didn't believe that Grissom would react that badly, but she was scared of what she might do. Breaking down was not an option here. The fact that everyone could see her would help her stay strong and keep her cool. What she had to say was not easy for her.

She walked over to his desk and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of it. So far, he had kept his head down, focusing on the paperwork, but the moment she sat down, he pushed the reports away and looked up.

Sara could tell he was curious as to how she had spent the rest of her evening, but he refrained from asking. She had told him that Brass had invited her out for coffee and he hadn't asked for any further information. Although she could not figure out why he did not want to know what she was doing, she was grateful that he trusted her enough _not_ to question her.

"I told Brass."

She couldn't keep it in any longer, remembering his proof of trust making her feel even guiltier.

At first, he looked…not shocked, but definitely surprised, but then he smiled in acceptance.

"I know, I shouldn't have; at least waited until we could tell him together…"

"Sara," he cut her off, making her feel stupid as well. "It's okay. We agreed to wait because we wanted to be sure that everything was alright, but if you wanted to tell Brass, that's fine. He's a good friend and it's great news."

She wasn't so sure if he would still say that if he knew what else Brass had hinted at. She felt bad that Brass had chosen sides and Grissom would be left to fend for himself. Weighing all of her options, she decided to tell him what Brass had told her. She didn't want anything to come between them.

She was surprised that again, he only nodded, accepting everything she had told him. "Aren't you mad at me?"

He tipped his head to one side, not answering right away. At first, she thought he was thinking, but then she realized that he was observing every move she made. He was trying to see something, something that must have been important to him but remained in the dark to her. She let him watch her without complaint until he seemed satisfied.

"I'm not mad at you and I'm not mad at Brass. It's reassuring that he's there to watch over you. I know you think it's a weakness to have other people there to do what you should be able to do alone. It's not. Even in my limited ability to form relationships, I have to acknowledge that. I don't like it and always try to pretend it's nothing, but it's good that Catherine keeps an eye on me and gives me a smack on the head if I start to drift away. You do the same. You watch over me just as I do with you."

Sara nodded, realizing the truth of his explanation and deep down, she was glad to know that her world wasn't limited to one person.

"I don't mind that you told Brass. He is a good friend."

Although he had already told her that, Sara was still a bit stunned about his calm acceptance. "We agreed to keep this to ourselves."

She wasn't trying to pick a fight; she just wanted to figure out where she stood.

"I'm happy. And I would never deny the fact that I love you and our baby."

Finally, Sara smiled and he smiled back.

"Do you want to tell the others as well?"

Sara shook her head, telling him that at least for now, they would stick to their previous plan. Telling Brass was one thing; he accepted it and minded his own business. The others, however, would fawn over her and wouldn't be able to take a backseat.

She didn't want that.

For now, this pregnancy was their time and theirs alone.

"Good. Ready to go to work?"

xxxxx

Brass certainly lived up to their expectations. He didn't breathe a word to anyone, but when Grissom came by his office after a case a week later, he couldn't resist.

He took out his best bottle of scotch and poured them both a drink. The door was closed, preventing anyone outside from hearing.

Brass raised his glass. "Congratulations!"

Grissom tipped his glass as well and took a sip. They sat in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts until Brass cleared his throat.

He had emptied his glass and stared at Grissom again. "Are you happy?"

It was funny how things always came back to that one question.

While he couldn't have answered it before, with his life having changed, he could do so now. "Yes."

Brass smirked behind his newly filled glass, a little bit surprised at the open answer, but more than pleased.

"Are you scared?" Brass asked next. "I know I was."

Grissom took the admission without judgment and began to think about the question.

Despite all of the bravery he had put up for Sara's sake, he had to admit that he was scared. He thought he had been prepared, but the reality of the situation had taught him otherwise.

While the focus of their precautions lay on assuaging Sara's fears, he was feeling the relief as well. "More than I ever have been."

"Wait till he or she is born. It gets worse." For once, Brass was the one passing on the knowledge, and he seemed to like that. Although his intent was probably not to scare him any further, he was doing a pretty good job.

"But you know what? What they say is true. It's all worth it." Brass smiled at him, showing him that he really meant it.

Grissom thought about what he would never tell Brass.

He was scared that his child would be left with a genetic defect that could rob it of its hearing. He was scared that he was not young enough to give everything his child needed and wanted. He was scared that he couldn't protect it from the world that he encountered on a daily basis. He was scared that he couldn't handle a family. He was scared of being just like his father.

He hadn't voiced any of his concerns to Sara. He knew he would have to sooner or later, but at the moment, her well-being was more important.

"Remind me of that once in a while, will you?"

Brass nodded and Grissom finally relaxed. They had not exchanged many words, yet he felt like he had relieved his soul of a great baggage.

Brass had understood the things that had been left unsaid, and he knew that although Brass' desire to protect Sara was strong, he could still talk to him.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Growing Period.

Part XIV

Summary: Grissom stirs up some trouble.

xxxxx

Sara knew she was being unfair, but she was angry.

Angry at Grissom.

The previous night at work, he had told her that he had made plans to meet with Patrick to discuss an extension of the insect house at the park.

It wasn't that she really wanted to go, and she was glad that he had found someone to talk to outside of work, but she wished he had told her sooner. She had wanted to go home with him, snuggle up to him, and maybe read a bit.

Without him, she was too restless to concentrate on anything. She tried, but ended up tossing the book back on the nightstand. She needed to do something.

Without much thought, she grabbed her car keys from the bowl next to the door and left the house.

At first, she drove around aimlessly until she passed the shopping center. She turned at the next possibility and entered the parking lot. She hadn't been shopping in a while and she usually avoided it when possible, but this time she had something specific in mind.

The corridors seemed much longer than the last time, and she cursed when she realized that she had parked at the wrong end of the mall. To get to her destination, she would have to walk all the way through the mass of shoppers.

When she finally saw the small sign over the entrance door, she breathed a sigh of relief. She really hated shopping, but this store seemed to be the exception.

Little bells chimed when she opened the door and the rich display of colors reached her eyes.

Sara recognized the man behind the counter, and to her surprise he seemed to remember her too. The man smiled at her and nodded in greeting. She smiled back and then focused on the variety of toys again.

She had something very specific in mind although other things were enticing her to buy them. She quickly spotted what she was looking for and approached the shelf with purposeful strides.

She had seen Grissom gazing at this one toy before deciding on the puzzle. It had struck a chord with her, even back then, and now it was calling out for her. This was the first thing she would buy for their child.

Suddenly, she felt guilty for excluding Grissom from this. They had planned to buy the baby stuff together.

She looked at the small music box again and decided that this wasn't cheating. He had liked it; that had been written all over his face.

She was going to buy it.

Sara paid for the music box and was surprised when the man smiled at her, asked if the child had liked the presents they had bought the last time they were there, and then congratulated her.

At first, Sara was confused, but when she was about to ask how he knew, a wink stopped her. There probably was no rational explanation.

She shrugged her shoulders and thanked him, leaving the store with a huge smile on her face.

She had bought a present for their baby.

The reality of it didn't scare her as much anymore.

For two months now, she and Grissom had been seeing the therapist – together and individually – and she felt like they were making progress. In addition to that, three weeks ago, they had started a basic childcare class, eight sessions in all, so there were still five more left to go. It all helped.

She felt no immediate flutter of fear anymore when she let her hand travel over her still flat abdomen or when her mind took flight and imagined their future with a child. Dr. Wendell was pleased and so was she, although she knew there was still a lot of work to do.

Sara entered her car and glanced at the paper bag with the present inside. As her unconscious mind had decided to bring her here, the other half of her mind told her that it was time for a talk again.

She put her car into gear and headed home.

If she was lucky, Grissom's mom would be taking a break by then.

xxxxx

Grissom had to smile when he looked at her. He couldn't help it.

It was like the first time he had been here with her. Excitement and joy was radiating off of her and it made him smile.

He watched as Amelia darted from one side of the path to the other, not being able to decide which animal to look at first. She had grown so much since they had found her in a showgirl's dressing room.

That day had changed his life – for the better.

And now he would have his own little girl, or boy, with Sara.

That's why he was here today.

He had not told Sara everything. It was true that Patrick had called and asked him if he could drop by sometime to help him with a new section of the insect house. They had set a date, but when the other man was about to hang up, Grissom had stopped him. There was something that had been on his mind for a while and now was the chance to do something about it. He had offered to babysit Amelia again if they were in a tight spot.

Ever since they had the confirmation that they were having a baby, he had wondered if he was really able to take care of a child.

Sure, they were doing that class, but for him, it was the question of if he could do it alone. He knew that babysitting was not the same as experiencing every day with his own child, but he hoped it would be a good step in the right direction. Dr. Wendell had thought so too when he had brought it up in his last session.

That's why he had made the offer to Patrick, and the other man had gladly taken him up on it.

Yesterday, he had called and asked him if he could help him out. Alex had come down with the flu, he had a meeting, and everyone else had to work. Because he did not want to ask the grandparents again, he had called him. To make things easier, he had picked Amelia up from her father's office and had taken her to the park. Afterward, he could just bring her back to the office. That he now felt almost at home in the park helped him feel comfortable.

Amelia's love for all kinds of animals was still as strong as ever, and it was almost as if _she_ were leading him though the park.

When they reached the aviary, she tugged at his pant leg and looked up at him with a small pout. Oh, she definitely knew how to get what she wanted from him. She didn't even need to ask.

Grissom smiled and bent down to pick her up. Amelia grinned and smacked his cheek with a kiss, giggling when his beard pricked her lips.

"Alright, you little minx. Let's go see the birds."

If he couldn't say no to her, how would he with his own child? He would probably spoil it rotten.

He carried Amelia through the aviary, taking great pleasure in listening to her. She had grown to be a real chatterbox.

She explained things to him that a normal three-year-old should not know. He pretended that it was all news to him and let her talk. Only when she pronounced something incorrectly or didn't know how to continue did he take over.

He put her down when they reached the exit, and although she pouted again at first, she soon began running back and forth between the habitats again. Grissom was proud that everything seemed to go smoothly. He made sure that she drank enough, fed her if she was hungry, helped her in the bathroom, and made sure she kept her little sun hat and pink sunglasses on.

Everything was fine until he saw her trip and fall.

At first, she only looked shocked. She even managed to get up again, but then she must have realized what had happened and started to wail. Fat tears immediately shot to her eyes and streamed down her baby cheeks.

Grissom went over to her and hadn't even fully lowered himself when Amelia threw herself into his arms. She kept crying for her mother, clinging to him so tightly that he couldn't even pull back to see if and where she was really hurt. He cradled her in his arms, pulling her up with him and then shifting her weight to make it easier for him to hold her. When she didn't protest, he was sure that she couldn't be hurt too badly.

Slowly, he started walking around, softly murmuring nonsense to her while stroking her hair.

At that moment, he felt the fear creeping back into him. He was not prepared for such a situation and didn't know what to do. The only thing he could think of was pulling out his cell phone and calling for help. The rational part of him knew it was ridiculous. At the worst, the girl had a scraped knee. The other part of him, however, the one feeling every one of her cries just wanted to make it stop for her, no matter how.

He started to fumble for his phone, but feeling the movement, Amelia clung tighter to him, making it impossible for him to reach it. He had no other choice but to keep doing what he had done before.

He kept rocking her and was relieved when her sobs quieted down and finally turned to slight hiccups.

It was then, he realized, that instinctively, he had done everything right.

When he felt like he could try to separate her from him again, he pulled away and carefully set her down to examine her.

"Hurts!" she cried and pointed to her left knee. She had indeed scraped it and it would need to be cleaned a bit.

Grissom nodded and took her hands in his, brushing little pebbles off of her palms as he examined them. The skin there seemed to be unscathed and he nodded again, this time with satisfaction. "Come on, bug. Let's get you cleaned up."

He put her into the stroller and headed back to the entrance where he knew they must have a first aid kit.

He winced when he disinfected the small wound and Amelia began to cry again. Quickly, he put a Band-Aid on her knee and scooped her up in an embrace again. This was more than he could usually handle. He was not the cuddly type, but his slight discomfort was nothing compared to the pain and guilt of hearing the little girl cry. She did not cry as much as when she had initially fallen, but it still almost broke his heart.

He did what he had before, rocked her, whispered some soothing words, and stroked her hair. When she had calmed down some, he pulled her back a bit and looked at her.

There were still some tears rolling down her cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumb.

"Why don't we go and get some ice cream?" Amelia nodded and he thanked the woman who had given him the first aid kit while leaving the room.

He carried the little girl over to the food stand, knowing his back would _not_ thank him later, but he didn't want Amelia to hurt.

He let her pick out her treat, which he was pleased to see was a fruit popsicle.

It was a bit tricky to juggle the girl and his wallet, so he had to set her down. Amelia didn't show any signs of pain, but he still hurried to pay. When he handed her the popsicle, she smiled at him. She held it in a tight grip, but before she began to eat, she looked up at him and then at a nearby bench.

Before he could pick her up, Amelia was walking toward the bench as if nothing happened.

He shook his head, wondering what stroke of genius a child was.

Now, more than ever, he looked forward to being a father.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Growing Period

Part XV

Summary: His knew knowledge gets Brass into trouble.

A/N: Thank you for all of your support.

xxxxx

They were walking down the hallway side by side, looking for Grissom to update him on their case, when Brass suddenly pulled her to another corridor. They were then out of sight of their original path, but that didn't seem to be enough. Bewildered, Sara let herself be dragged through the lab.

Brass was obviously running away from something…or someone.

Suddenly, it dawned on her.

Catherine had rounded the corner just before he had pulled her in another direction. In fact, Brass seemed to have been avoiding Catherine for some time.

Sara dug her heels in and made him stop running. Brass tugged at her arm again, but seeing her determination not to be dragged around without knowing why, he let go of her. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and waited for an explanation.

"I'll tell you everything, but let's go somewhere more private."

When she didn't budge, he sighed dramatically. "Trust me; you don't wanna be caught between me and Cath in this."

She suspected that something more was left unsaid, but she nodded and took the lead. Soon they found solace in Jackie's print lab, for she was taking a break.

Brass closed the door and they retreated to the far corner where they were less visible from the hallway.

"Sorry about that," Brass started, trying to buy himself some time, but Sara did not fall for it.

She crossed her arms over her chest again, signaling that she wasn't in the mood for games.

"Sara, you know I would never divulge what has been said solely between us, but Catherine knows something's up."

Sara shifted uncomfortably. That was not what she had expected.

"She knows that I know something, although I haven't let anything up. She's been grilling me for almost three weeks now."

Sara had to fight to keep from pacing, the thought of anyone taking the decision to tell the others out of their hands scaring her.

"But…I think she thinks you got hitched."

For a moment, Sara just stared at Brass until the words really made sense. Suddenly, she couldn't hold in her laughter anymore.

"Cath…thinks…she thinks… we're married?" She spluttered, having trouble breathing.

Brass couldn't help chuckling along with her. Taking the strain out of the situation, Catherine's misinformation _was _pretty funny. Just because they had been keeping a secret from their friends, Cath had immediately jumped to the conclusion that they had gotten married.

When Sara finally calmed down enough to have a normal conversation, she looked back at Brass who was waiting patiently for her to recover. "So, what should I do now?"

Sara didn't know either. It was nearly impossible to dissuade Catherine from something once she had made up her mind. They had to use her determination to turn things around, but Sara had no clue how to do that. "I'll talk to Grissom. Just stay away from her."

Brass rolled his eyes. As if he wasn't doing that already.

xxxxx

The ride home was silent, with Sara still a bit angry that he had been gone so long the day before. If she was honest with herself, it was more the fact that he had come home in an unusually good mood and she didn't know why.

It couldn't have been just the bugs. There had to be another reason – one he wasn't telling her.

Their relationship was not supposed to be like that, and she decided to talk to him about it.

Usually their routine would be to take time to unwind from work and then have dinner together. Today, Sara could not wait.

She stopped Grissom on his way to his office and brought him back to the living room. He looked puzzled at her strange behavior but followed her.

"Two things. Catherine thinks we got hitched, and I want to know why you weren't honest with me yesterday." Sara didn't care much for tact at that point. Some things just needed to be said and she was tired.

Grissom sat on the couch next to her, completely stunned by her words. Obviously, he hadn't seen any of this coming. She gave him the time to think about it because this time she wanted to hear everything.

"I was at the park yesterday and I met Patrick. We discussed the new project he has in mind."

There he paused, taking more time to gather his thoughts. "But the main reason I was there was that Patrick had asked me to babysit Amelia again."

Now it was Sara's turn to be confused. Why hadn't he just told her that?

"In case you're wondering," he continued, struggling to find the right words to explain it without hurting her. "I went alone because I needed to do this by myself."

It was comforting that he at least knew her well enough to know what she had been about to ask. She only had to wonder then why he couldn't have told her that. "I know I should have been completely honest with you, but I didn't want you to worry about me."

He paused again. This was harder than he had thought.

"Just tell me." Sara's patience was running short and she wanted nothing but honesty from him.

"I worry about you because you're not entirely comfortable in this pregnancy. I didn't want you to worry about me because sometimes, I'm not either. I want our baby, I love our baby, but sometimes I think it's too much, that I'm too emotionally unavailable."

Everything came out in a rush and Sara was glad she was sitting down.

However, Grissom wasn't finished. "I talked to Dr. Wendell about it and she proposed that I do something like that on my own. Without a safety net. That's why I offered to watch Amelia again when we talked on the phone, and yesterday, the Knightleys needed someone to help out. I just wanted to do this and I didn't want to burden you."

When words failed her, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. He was trying to protect her, but in reality, she felt better knowing that she wasn't just stringing him along. He was doing all of this – the preparations, the sessions, the classes – because he wanted to. It didn't scare her that he too had his doubts. On the contrary, it eased some of her fears.

"You should have told me that. I'm not going to break, not because you're scared too. Griss, you have to remember that the same rules that apply to me are for you, too."

She pulled back to look into his eyes. "You don't have to be strong all the time."

Grissom kept looking at her for a while before he finally nodded and she could swear that she saw the weight lifted off of his shoulders. Now that this was out of the way, Sara was able to relax a bit and shuffled around until Grissom sat with his back against the armrest, his legs on the couch, and her sitting between them with her back resting against him. Grissom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

"So, how did it go?" She couldn't see him smile, but she knew he did.

His body relaxed and he let a little pull of air escape his lips. He told her all about it, even how Amelia had injured herself.

Sara was impressed.

He, who never had been particularly good at handing out comfort, had done just that because of a scraped knee. He had indeed proven that he could take care of a small child.

It should have made her envious that she didn't feel that confidence yet, but it didn't. Instead, she felt proud of him and herself that they were both progressing.

Reluctant to leave his embrace, she stood up and told him to wait there. Quickly, she retrieved a small packet from her study and went back to join him on the couch. "I bought something, and I hope you're not angry."

She was kneeling between his legs, facing him this time, wanting to watch him when he opened the box. Unconsciously, she held her breath, somewhat scared as to what he had to say.

Grissom lifted the top of the box in which she had placed the present after arriving at home and then gasped. His eyes went wide and she hoped that that was a good sign.

Grissom put the box aside and took his present out. "It's perfect."

With the music box in one hand, he held out the other and Sara crawled into his arms again, turning until they were in their previous positions.

Grissom opened the box carefully and the soft tunes began to play. He brought it close to her stomach, marveling at the fact that this was all for them and their child.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Growing Period

Part XVI

Summary: Catherine gets a little confused.

A/N: I hope this part isn't too crazy, but I couldn't resist.

xxxxx

It had taken some planning, but the next few days were fun. Grissom and Sara used every opportunity to confuse Catherine.

They had discussed several strategies to solve the issue, but in the end, they had reached the conclusion that there was only one thing they could do: tell everything.

However, that didn't mean that they couldn't use the situation to have some fun.

Once, when Catherine was standing right behind her, Sara had deliberately started signing a form with a 'G' before artfully morphing it into an 'S'. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

Once, Grissom had left his office when he knew Catherine was about to arrive for a brief meeting, knowing perfectly well that she couldn't resist sitting in his chair. He also counted on her sweet tooth. Only Catherine and Sara knew that behind the chocolate covered insects in his drawer, he kept really pricy chocolate, and if Catherine reached in, keeping her eyes to the door to avoid being caught, she would be able to feel a small round object. Watching her, he had known exactly when to come in to prevent her from pulling it out. She had done everything as he had predicted, including pulling her hand out immediately. She looked shocked for a second, and then tried to divert his attention. Mission accomplished.

More than once, Sara played with her empty ring finger, rubbing it from beneath with her thumb, making it look like an unconscious move while being deep in thought.

Once, Grissom rummaged it that special drawer, pulling his hand back out and letting it disappear quickly in his pocket again before leaving the office and the lab, knowing that again, Catherine was watching.

They were slowly driving her insane and were enjoying having the upper hand for once.

The whole game brought some relief for Brass since Catherine became more intent on watching them than grilling him. However, they knew that they couldn't do this forever and had set a date when they would tell all of their friends together.

It was amazing that no one suspected anything. Sara avoided working with certain chemicals, making excuses to leave the room more than once. Teaching Greg was an added bonus because it was a good excuse to let him handle dangerous tests and experiments and retreat to a safe distance herself.

Grissom, for his par, had actually gotten quite good at judging the possibility of chemical exposure on all cases and took great care to hand them out according to that. He did so without feeling guilty. He had discussed everything with Sara as he would have with any other pregnant woman.

Their precautions were well thought out, but they knew they were only good for a certain timeframe, which was slowly coming to an end.

To give their friends, especially Catherine, as little time as possible to prepare for what was about to come, Grissom announced the invitation for a shared meal after shift at the beginning of the same shift. Catherine would have been too dangerous otherwise.

xxxxx

This morning would be really special.

Grissom's mother would be there for the big revelation. She'd been burning to come and visit them for a while, but had respected their privacy enough to let them warm up to the idea of becoming parents. Maybe she had also sensed that mothering was the last thing that Sara needed.

Lauren arrived the day before the get-together and couldn't wait to pull Sara into her arms. She was going to be a grandmother and was too excited to stop herself. Sara had lost her shyness and hesitancy around the woman and returned the hug with equal fervor.

Her signing had improved, having practiced a lot with Grissom since Lauren had visited them the last time.

"How are you, dear?" Lauren asked when she pulled back.

Sara smiled, patting her stomach. "So far, so good."

Lauren pulled her into another hug, simply feeling overwhelmed with joy. It wasn't until someone tapped her shoulder that she let go of Sara again and turned around.

Grissom had returned to the living room and was standing right behind her. He had picked his mother up at the airport alone because Sara had been way too tired. The last shift had been long and he had insisted she take a nap while he drove out to the airport. She had to admit that it had done her good and she was not as tired anymore.

So far, that was one of the few side effects of pregnancy that she had experienced. She tired so much faster and she sometimes felt a bit under the weather. Today, she had only been tired, very tired.

Grissom was talking to his mother, and as far as she could tell, he was trying to tell her not to overdo it with the 'baby affections.'

Lauren did not look thrilled at all and Sara could understand that. She thought it was unfair to ask that of her since it was her first grandchild. She knew that Grissom only wanted to protect her, but he didn't need to do that from his mother. She could handle it.

To tide things over, Sara broke into the conversation, speaking to Grissom. "It's okay."

Then she took Lauren's hand and put it on her belly, right where their baby was resting. The older woman smiled at her before closing her eyes, letting her tactile sense take over.

While Lauren was focused on the baby, Sara looked at Grissom and mouthed a silent 'thank you' over Lauren's head to let him know that she really appreciated his effort.

When Lauren finally lifted her head again and smiled at her brightly, she knew that this was really her family.

xxxxx

"May I ask how you two are really doing?" They had taken Lauren out to get some things for the baby because she insisted on buying something practical.

At first, the baby store had been a bit overwhelming, but Sara was slowly getting used to it. Grissom felt more uncomfortable and had excused himself to get something to drink for Sara.

They had been browsing through the aisles for almost two hours and she was okay with Grissom needing a little breather. She was alone with Lauren and thought about the question.

She wanted to tell Lauren, but she didn't know how much to divulge.

In the end, she decided to only speak for herself. "I'm getting better. The classes really help, as do the sessions with the therapist. Grissom and I, we've been talking a lot about everything and that helps too."

When Lauren only looked curiously at her, but didn't ask her to elaborate, Sara shrugged. The first email and the conversations since then had really been a big help. They always made her feel like she was not alone in having these thoughts. It was okay to think about darker things and not be a happy 'little woman' all the time. "Talking to you, having your support…"

"Any time." Laura patted her hand and they both smiled.

Grissom chose that moment to make a reappearance, holding two small bottles of water. He handed one to Sara and the other to his mother.

Sara was glad to notice that he looked far more relaxed. Smiling, he moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her loosely. There was something in his eyes that made her look closer. He was definitely up to something, but she couldn't quite figure out what.

Lauren must have noticed it too because she regarded him suspiciously. They kept staring at him until he gave in, not being able to withstand the silent onslaught of the two most important women in his life.

He tugged Sara along with him, motioning for his mother to follow. They walked through the store in the direction they had originally come from until he turned left and not right to the exit, which made Sara wonder what he had been doing on his 'break.'

A quick look at Lauren caused even more confusion as the other woman could only shrug her shoulders.

Finally, Grissom stopped, and when Sara saw what he had wanted to show them, she could have reached over and kissed him.

It took her only a second to realize she could actually do just that and she leaned over. She didn't care that his mother was standing right behind them or that anyone passing by could see them.

Grissom had found a light green set of linens for the baby's bedroom. What made the set so lovely were the ladybugs that were printed on the leaf background. They looked like miniature versions of the toy that Amelia Knightley had been dragging around with her. It was perfect.

To be honest, Sara had been afraid that Grissom would want something with ants, spiders or roaches on it and although technically, ladybugs weren't that different, the pattern didn't give her the impression that they were crawling all over the place – in the future, over their child.

Grissom had found the perfect compromise.

Lauren seemed to approve as well and insisted on buying the set and the matching accessories for them.

They didn't have furniture for the baby yet, but they still had time. They didn't want to rush, wanting to be absolutely sure of every decision. Lauren was just glad to be able to do something for them and show them her support by buying something as simple as linens.

If they needed the time, they should have it. Whatever made her son happy was alright with her.

When they finally walked out of the store, Sara felt tired again. She leaned closer to Grissom, smiling when he pressed his lips to her forehead in a short kiss. "Let's get you to bed."

Satisfied that they had made progress today, shopping for their baby, Sara let him take over, knowing he would take care of her.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Growing Period

Part XVII

Summary: Catherine and the others arrive for breakfast and get a surprise.

A/N: Thanks to my wonderful beta who always manages to make my chapters better.

xxxxx

Brass was the first to arrive, this time without Catherine.

Under the circumstances, it was understandable that he didn't want to subject himself to more of her 'hunting' personality than he absolutely had to.

Grissom knew that if Catherine had set her mind to something it was better to stay away from her. On the job, that came in handy, but outside, that trait sometimes made it difficult to be around her. He felt a bit bad for misguiding her, but with her attitude towards Brass, she had earned it. Once she heard what was really going on, she would get over it.

Grissom introduced Brass to his mother and was pleased that the other man seemed to take her deafness in stride. Brass just nodded and smiled, shaking her hand while speaking normally. "Nice to meet you."

Conversation was light, Brass filling Lauren in on what was about to take place. He wasn't quite in on the whole plan, but Brass knew them well enough to know that they would keep doing up the charade until Catherine had finally learned her lesson. Their private life was private and she would have to wait until they were ready to share it. Harassing Brass was _not_ an option to get what she wanted.

"Is that really necessary?" Lauren didn't look thrilled by their plan.

Having never met Catherine in all her years, she couldn't understand why they hadn't just told her. She knew that her son and Sara valued their privacy much more than other people and agreed to go along with their plan. Although they were playing a trick on that poor woman, Lauren knew they were not doing it to hurt her. They just wanted to give her something to think about.

When Grissom got up to finish the last of their preparations, Lauren followed him. There was something she had been meaning to ask him for a while.

"Mom, if you want to ask me about a possible wedding, I can't answer you. We haven't talked about it yet. In fact, until now, I haven't even thought about it. Give us time."

Lauren leaned against the counter next to where Grissom was slicing some bread. She didn't look surprised by his admission; she only nodded and waited to see if there was more he had to say.

When he remained silent, not lifting his hands either, she made sure he could see her before starting to sign. "Just tell me _before_ you get 'hitched.' But that wasn't what I was going to ask."

She had his complete attention now and he put the knife away, turning to face her. "There's something I wanted to give to Sara, but until now, I wasn't sure if she would feel comfortable accepting it because there's so much history attached to this token."

Lauren smirked and reached behind her. "Well, that and I didn't want to pressure either of you."

She produced a charm bracelet and held it out so Grissom could see it. Although he could remember his mother wearing it, he could not remember if she had ever told him about an attached meaning.

"Each charm represents a new family member. It's funny, but the book that's you. I wanted to pick something art related, but I couldn't find anything that matched. Turns out I was right after all. A book suits you so much better."

Grissom was blushing. His mother's bluntness scared him sometimes. "Which…which one are you?"

Lauren smiled and pushed a charm up with her ring finger. "Ah, grandma was a pianist."

With another smile, she nodded and let the small note fall back into place.

"I think Sara will love it."

That was all Lauren needed to hear.

xxxxx

When the others arrived, the whole house seemed to grow quiet. It was clear that Warrick, Nick and Greg didn't know what to do or think and this kept them quiet.

Catherine restrained herself and did not utter more than a few polite words, instead choosing to glare at Brass, who made sure to keep to the other side of the room. When Grissom and Sara came clear, he did _not_ want to be in her vicinity. Catherine would be thrilled and pissed at the same time and there was no telling how she would react.

The burden of conversation rested mostly on Lauren and Sara while Grissom finished with the preparations by putting everything on the table. The initial plan was to wait until after breakfast, drawing it out some more, but the way Catherine looked, they might have to rectify that. After all, they didn't want her to kill anyone.

Once everyone was seated, the real waiting began.

Catherine kept fidgeting, making Brass even more edgy. The boys seemed to pick up on the tension. While Nick and Warrick only looked uncomfortable, Greg seemed to be really unwell. He didn't touch any of the food.

They continued this farce for a few more minutes until Lauren couldn't take it anymore. "Oh, for Christ's sake, just tell them already so I can enjoy my food."

She had spoken much louder than before, startling everyone from their thoughts.

Brass, Nick and Warrick looked relieved – even if they had different reasons. Greg was definitely green now, and Catherine just looked sour.

Grissom knew that the moment had come and there was no going back. Under the table, he reached for Sara's hand. He didn't know how often he could actually go through those huge revelation moments, and for a second, he doubted their choice. Maybe they should have let it drop casually and wait for it to spread on its own.

Something inside of him balked at the idea. Their baby was not something casual, something to intentionally spread rumors about. Their baby was something special and it needed to be treated as such.

He knew it was a stretch, but if he didn't do this now – be part of a social circle – his child would be an outsider, like he and Sara were. He preferred that life, but his child should at least be able to decide how he or she wanted to lead his or her life. He wanted to open as many doors as he could. Their friends would be important in the future, so this was something he had to do right.

Grissom smiled at Sara and lifted her hand for a brief kiss before holding it up for everyone to see. At the same time he also held his hand up to show everyone that there were no rings.

Catherine's reaction was priceless.

She kept staring at their hands until it dawned on her that there really was no jewelry that screamed marriage. It was then that she realized she had been had. "Oh, you…and you…"

She turned to Brass, glaring at him. Figuring that he sat out of her range, Brass smirked. "Don't pin that one on me. It was all your own idea."

Catherine kept her grim expression, still miffed over the deception. She would live – especially if she heard the real news – but for now she was hurt. "Why?"

Grissom took a deep breath and tried to explain. "Cath, I know you never mean any harm and you're genuinely interested, but you have to respect that when we're ready, we will only tell you what we think is for you to know. It's our choice, not yours."

His honesty and openness made Catherine back down. Friendship was more about respect than to giving the other a push - in the right direction or not.

It was when Grissom saw that she had understood that he looked back at Sara to check if she was ready. The others seemed to be oblivious about what was to happen next. Only Brass and Lauren were silently prepping themselves for the big bang.

Sara squeezed his hand back before clearing her throat. She did it again to grab the others' attention, and everyone focused on her.

For a few seconds, everyone was silent until Greg found some words. "There is something else."

His voice was firm and he sounded absolutely sure. He knew he was right.

The other three, who were not in on the secret, glanced curiously back and forth between Greg and Sara. It was clear that Greg had hit a nerve and Grissom would leave this up to Sara.

The tension in the room eased up when Sara began to smile. This time she brought their joined hands up for everyone to see before she revealed their secret. "I'm pregnant."

Her simple statement floored Catherine and the guys, making their eyes go wide in shock.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Growing Period.

Part XVIII

Summary: New revelations render some people speechless.

A/N: Thanks to my betas. Despite having not much time, they always help me out.

xxxxx

"What?"

It was nothing more than a whisper, but everyone heard it. Catherine hadn't ever been that quiet before and for a short moment, Grissom was worried. The moment passed when Catherine blinked and a smile slowly spread over her face.

So far, the guys had been quiet, taking their cues from the senior CSI. As long as Catherine hadn't said anything, they had kept their mouths shut as well, but as soon as the silence was broken, they couldn't help themselves.

Greg jumped up, but it was Nick who congratulated them first. He shook Grissom's hand and pulled Sara into a hug. "I'm happy for you and I wish you all the best."

Sara smiled at him and returned the hug. In the back of her mind, she was glad that no one asked if the baby was planned or any other equally stupid questions. She didn't want anyone to think of their baby as 'less than' because of various speculations.

Pushing back any negative thoughts, she turned to face Greg who was now eagerly awaiting his turn. When Nick stepped back, Greg moved in and swept her up into a hug. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Sara could feel that he was really happy for her. He had even given Grissom a handshake and an appreciative slap on the arm, which Grissom tolerated good-naturedly.

When Greg pulled back, she thought she saw some tears sparkling in his eyes, but she couldn't be sure. She would ask him about that later.

Next up was Warrick, who murmured his congratulations. Before he pulled her into his arms, he looked at her with his eyebrows raised, asking her for permission.

Somehow that didn't surprise her. It was so Warrick to notice every detail and remain silent. He was always very respectful of others. Sara nodded and went willingly into his embrace.

She was glad that everyone was reacting positively to the news.

Over Warrick's shoulder, Sara could see Catherine.

The other woman was still sitting at the table, smiling to herself. She seemed oblivious to her surroundings, staring straight ahead.

Grissom walked over to her and sat down beside her. Everyone was now focused on what would happen, curious what he was going to do.

"Catherine?"

Finally, Catherine seemed to focus again and looked around, frowning when she realized that all of the attention was on her. She turned to Grissom who was still watching her with a bemused expression.

His smug look let her temper flare up again and she smacked his arm.

"You…" Her words failing her, she waited for Grissom to explain, who was now rubbing his arm where she had hit him.

"Don't tell me you didn't deserve it."

When she was about to object, Grissom raised an eyebrow in silent warning and to everyone's surprise, Catherine backed down.

"Cath, you're a good friend, but sometimes you're just too…" Grissom paused, wanting to keep this conversation as neutral as possible, but couldn't come up with the right word.

"Nosy."

"Inquisitive."

"Intrusive."

"Interrogative."

"Bossy."

"Snoopy."

The last was supplied by Greg, who grinned like a fool along with the others. Catherine looked miffed, but since she didn't start arguing with them, it was obvious that he had gotten through to her.

"Yes, sometimes all of them. But that doesn't mean that we're excluding you to spite you." Grissom sat up straighter, pushing his glasses back, signaling that he meant business.

"You can't go around spreading rumors or harassing other people just because you don't _know_ something."

It was eerie how calm Grissom's voice came across and it certainly made an impression on Catherine. She nodded in acceptance without a word of protest.

"Good. Now…" He didn't get any further as Catherine suddenly hugged him before she stood up and walked over to Sara. It was a more cautious hug but still heartfelt.

Catherine was smiling again, looking genuinely pleased for the two of them. "Now, let's celebrate!"

xxxxx

When Grissom pulled Sara close, he couldn't resist rubbing her belly. She didn't seem to mind, though, as she purred and snuggled closer to him.

"Tired?" he asked her, concerned that the day had been too long for her; first work and then breakfast had to be especially exhausting for her.

Sara nodded, but kept her eyes open to regard him with curiosity. She knew something was up. "What do you want to talk about?"

Grissom thought about how to bring up the topic, but finally decided that there was no right or wrong way tonight. The best approach was just to say it. "This whole thing with Catherine…I have never really thought about marriage in concrete terms. I've just seen 'us' in the future."

Sara remained silent, and Grissom wondered if that was a good or a bad sign. Whatever it was, he gave her time to think about his words.

He closed his eyes and tried to picture a wedding. All of the Vegas wedding chapels were out. Even a completely traditional one in church didn't sit right with him. That was not what he wanted it to be like. If he knew her like he thought he did, it wasn't what she wanted either.

"I just want to be with you," Sara admitted, almost whispering into his neck. "Marriage doesn't really cross my mind either. I'm okay with things as they are. I don't need a certificate and a ring to tell us we're together and I don't want to marry because it's 'the right thing.'"

It was clear that she was hinting at her pregnancy, and Grissom was a bit hurt that she would even think that that was his motive. "I'm not bringing this up because society dictates it. And before you object again, it's not because I want to go caveman 'you belong to me' either. I, I guess I want to show you that I'm really serious – make it a 'to the end of my days' commitment."

He took a deep breath to steel himself for some argument from her, but it never came. "I'm not proposing, I just want to know if it's something you want in the future. However, I'm more than happy the way things are if you think it's enough that we _know_ how deep this commitment is."

He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. He had said what he needed to say and now Sara had to decide what she wanted. The day had been long and he was almost ready to drop off to sleep when he felt Sara move.

"I love you," she whispered, and then he felt her lips on his. He kept his eyes closed and yielded to her, letting her take control.

Her attention made it hard for him to think about anything else, but when she left his mouth and trailed soft kisses to his ear and made her commitment clear, he could swear the grin on his face had never been that bright.

"My answer won't be 'no' if you ask me."

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Growing Period.

Part XIX

Summary: Lauren has a surprise for Sara.

A/N: I don't know if I'll be able to keep up the posting interval. I'll try, but I can't make a promise because I'm preparing everything to move and it may take me longer to get the chapters ready. But I can promise you that I'll finish it. Stay tuned.

xxxxx

When Sara woke up, she was surprised to see that Grissom was still fast asleep. Usually, he was awake long before her, the pregnancy making her too tired to get up early, but the morning seemed to have exhausted him.

He had done almost everything by himself, worrying that the stress might be too much for her. It was not necessary, but she let him do it for his peace of mind. He needed to take care of her.

Maybe that was the reason she was up while he was still sleeping.

Carefully, she extricated herself from his arm that was slung over her stomach protectively and headed for the kitchen after a short trip to the bathroom.

Her appetite hadn't been good that morning, but now she was hungry.

As she got closer to the kitchen, she could hear someone moving around, clanking and clattering with some utensils. Sara entered the kitchen, but Lauren didn't turn away from her task. She had her back to Sara and hadn't heard her come in. As not to startle Lauren, she tried to move into her field of vision while approaching her.

Lauren smiled when she noticed Sara, but didn't turn. "Sleep well?"

Sara waited until Grissom's mother had finished stirring some eggs in a pan and looked at her. "Could have been longer, but I'm well rested."

Lauren nodded and turned back to the pan once more, this time adding some fresh herbs. Sara's stomach began to growl louder, reminding her of the initial reason she was there.

"You want some?" Lauren asked, apparently sensing what was going on in Sara's mind.

At Sara's nod, Lauren distributed the food on two dishes and carried them over to the breakfast bar. "Grab the bread. I'll be right back."

Sara did as she was told and waited for the other woman to return. Something was definitely off, but she couldn't figure out what. Lauren was acting differently - just like Grissom when he was planning something.

Did she already know what Grissom had hinted at? Somehow, she couldn't imagine that. Grissom and his mother were close, but up until now, the important steps had been discussed between them before they told others – including Lauren. Besides, she was fairly sure that he hadn't gotten up since their conversation.

Trying to free herself of those thoughts, Sara busied herself with getting out two glasses and some juice before Lauren returned. It didn't take long and soon they were eating side by side in silence.

Normally, eating did not hinder Lauren in her communication, but at that moment, she seemed unusually quiet.

When Lauren finished before her, she took the opportunity to strike up a conversation. "I know Gil's worried about passing otosclerosis on to our child. How do you feel about that?"

It was a question that Sara had expected Lauren to ask, but when the older woman never came forward, she began to wonder why. She was curious what Lauren thought about it.

At first, she seemed to have caught her off guard, but she soon recovered and smiled at Sara. "When I first found out that I had otosclerosis and that I could have passed it on to my son, I was angry. I was also scared, not for me but for him and what it could take away from him. Still, I was more angry that there was nothing I could do for the both of us. I had to learn how to deal with it and so did Gil."

Lauren paused, taking a few seconds to gather her thoughts. "I had to realize that there was nothing I could do about it. And it didn't really matter. I wouldn't love my child any less, just as Gil didn't love me any less, even if it was very hard for him to understand at the beginning."

Sara realized how true Lauren's statement was. Of course, it was a huge incision in everyone's life, but Gil had made it. He had become a strong person, dealing with his mother's deafness and facing the possibility of his own.

"Gil has always been a worrier, but I know he can do it. This baby will be loved even if it isn't as 'perfect' as society dictates it." Lauren smiled at her and Sara knew that she was not only talking about Grissom. It was Lauren's way of assuring her that she believed in her ability to love this baby unconditionally.

Satisfied that the conversation had ended well, Sara turned back to her food and finished eating.

This time Lauren took the chance to get something off of her chest. "I know that this family thing is still hard for you, but I want you to know that there was never a doubt in my mind that we would become a family. My son loves you more than anything else and at the beginning, that alone was enough for me. Once I got to know you, I realized how well you fit and I can't imagine this family without you."

Lauren gave her a chance to let the words sink in before she continued. From her son and her own experience she knew that despite her brave front, Sara was a sensitive person. She had to tread carefully.

"I've been meaning to show you that I really mean that and now there is something that I want to give to you."

Sara was too surprised to actually react in any way other than staring at the older woman with wide eyes. Lauren reached underneath the table and pulled out a little old jewelry's box.

Sara's breath was knocked from her lungs as her mind raced with possibilities of what Lauren was planning to give to her.

"Sara, you don't have to take it if you don't want to." It was an attempt to reassure her, but at this point, she was far too nervous to listen properly.

When Lauren pushed the box over to her, Sara finally moved again. She took the box between her fingers, hesitating for a few seconds before opening it.

Her mouth opened and closed involuntarily as she tried to find the right words. It was just a piece of jewelry – a beautiful one – but she suspected there was more to it. Lauren wouldn't have made such a fuss if it was 'just jewelry.'

Apparently, her speechless state worried the older woman. Lauren began to explain, using almost the same words she had with her son.

Sara was touched that Lauren would even think to give her something that precious, but she wasn't sure if she could accept it.

As if sensing her protest, Lauren began to speak again. "It doesn't matter if we're related by blood or that you and my son aren't married. We are a family."

After a short pause, with a twinkle in her eyes, she added, "Besides, I don't think the shade is Gil's color…"

xxxxx

Sara lifted her arm – as she had so often in the last few hours – and had to involuntarily smile again.

After all that Lauren had said, she couldn't say no anymore. Lauren had been so happy that Sara had accepted the bracelet and promised to wear it.

Originally, she had only wanted to keep it safe until the baby would be old enough to do something with it, but Lauren insisted on her having _and_ wearing it. In the end, she had given in, wearing the bracelet whenever it fit the occasion. The whole time Lauren had visited, she'd only taken it off when she had to go to work.

Today, Grissom had taken her out to dinner and she had put the bracelet on – with one more pendant.

Before Lauren had gone home, she and Sara had been to several jewelry stores – all off the path because what they wanted could not be found in the typical Vegas casinos – to buy a pendant that would represent the baby. Finally, they found what they were looking for in a really run down place.

Although Sara had been hesitant to go in, Lauren had made her. The owner didn't seem shady, just broke, but the jewelry was nice. It didn't take them long to spot one pendant that just felt right.

They had bought it with Lauren again insisting on paying, and now a simple little star was accompanying the book, the musical note as well as a flower and a ladybug, representing Grissom's grandmother and great-grandmother.

Grissom had teased her, asking her if she wanted their baby to be a star, but afterwards they'd had fun coming up with other reasons why the star seemed to fit. The most plausible ones were that this child would be very bright and had brought light to their lives. Sara liked those thoughts and had decided to make sure that their child would know about this - know how important it was to her and Grissom.

She looked down at their joined hands which were now resting on the table between them and then back up at his face. The lines around his eyes were a bit tight and she wondered what was bothering him.

Just as she was about to ask, Grissom leaned forward and spoke. "There are two things on my mind right now. Soon, we won't be able to hide anymore. To be honest, I'm tired of hiding, but I don't want everyone to feel that they have the right to intrude into our life, talking about it, spreading gossip and speculating. And that 'everyone' includes Ecklie. I'm worried."

He let out a sigh and leaned back again, waiting for her reaction. Since they had been to visit the sheriff, Ecklie had been watching them even closer, but it didn't seem as if he really knew what was going on.

Catherine had told them that Ecklie had stopped her in the hallway and had started beating around the bush, hinting that he knew 'something.' However, she had not fallen for his trick and had left him standing there. The confused and frustrated look on his face had been confirmation that the sheriff had not talked to Ecklie and that was why Grissom was worried now.

There was no telling how Ecklie would react once he not only found out that they were involved, but also that the sheriff was in on it.

Sara didn't want to leave their bubble of happiness where only the two of them and their friends were involved, but she knew it was necessary. It was not only because they couldn't hide it forever, but she could also see the strain it was placing on Grissom.

He was trying to take everything on himself to keep her from worrying. She felt guilty that she was doing this to him. She was having a hard time, but it had gotten better and she didn't want to be the one to only take anymore. It was time that she gave Grissom some of that security that he was offering her.

"We can let everyone else figure it out on their own, but we're going to have to tell Ecklie. Soon. I don't want you to worry anymore. Griss, I appreciate what you're doing for me, but this isn't a one-way street. I want you, no, I need you to be comfortable in this. If you keep trying to take the strain yourself for much longer, you're going to break. I'm fine. I can do this."

She was surprised that there was so much confidence in her, but she used it to bring parity back into their relationship. The pregnancy, although planned and wanted, had thrown her off of her fragile emotional balance, but now she was almost back to normal and she could again offer Grissom stability.

"We're in this together. You've done everything you could to help me, now let me help you."

Sara rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand in a reassuring gesture to let him know she meant every word and he seemed to gain strength from that. "We're prepared. Ecklie can't do anything without the sheriff's approval. You won't lose your job."

At the last words, Grissom jumped and looked at her as if she had grown a second head. His mouth opened and closed again, words failing him.

Sara waited patiently for him to recover, sensing that what he wanted to say was important.

When he finally spoke, he floored her. "I'm not worried about my job. Even if they decided to get rid of me, it's not the end of the world. But you, Sara…this job is important to you and if things get ugly with you in the middle…" he trailed off, shuddering at that thought.

"Ecklie is just...Ecklie." She didn't say what she really thought of the Assistant Director, instead opting for a pause to gather her thoughts. "I'm not scared of him and his opinion doesn't matter.

She must have sounded convincing because Grissom looked relieved.

"I want to get this over with so we can get back to more pleasant things." For the first time since this conversation started, Grissom smiled.

"Good, but now, don't let this ruin our dinner. Ecklie is work and this is us." Sara wanted to leave that part of the world behind and enjoy their time together.

"We'll deal with everything else tomorrow," Grissom agreed and raised their hands to his lips to kiss hers.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

Growing Period.

Part XX

Summary: It's time to take the final hurdle at work.

xxxxx

_Tomorrow_ didn't quite go as planned. Grissom had wanted to start everything calmly to keep the conversation with Ecklie as short and factual as possible because he didn't want to be goaded into something that could break their necks.

However, Ecklie didn't seem to have gotten that particular memo.

He was still there when they arrived for work and if that wasn't unusual enough, he was actually walking around the lab, looking as though he was really interested in the work. In reality, he was breathing down their necks, but he never actually came forward with what he wanted.

It wasn't long until Grissom's good intentions had flown out of the window and he wasn't so calm anymore. His only saving grace was Sara.

Whenever he was about to lose it because Ecklie was lurking around the corner again, she seemed to appear out of nowhere. She just smiled at him and he felt better.

Since Ecklie didn't seem interested in going home anytime soon, Grissom finally decided to bite the bullet when he stumbled over the other man for the fifth time. By then it was well after the start of shift, but Grissom didn't care anymore. Sara was in the lab, doing some background checks for last night's case, so he paged her to tell her that it was time.

The next time it was he who sought out the Assistant Director and he approached him head on. Ecklie seemed to have waited for this particular moment because he just smiled condescendingly and nodded.

He headed for his office without waiting for Grissom to follow him.

Sara was already coming out of the lab to join Grissom, and together, they made their way over to administration.

Ecklie was sitting behind his desk, looking smug as if nothing could throw him off of his throne.

Again, he just nodded and waited for them to sit down, wanting to make sure that they knew _who_ the boss was in here.

Together, they were able to remain calm and present a strong front. Ecklie was not going to win this one.

The situation came to a standstill as both parties refused to make the first step and speak what was on their minds.

Grissom sat completely still, looking straight ahead, while Sara focused on her slow and even breathing, trying not to look directly at Ecklie. If she did, she didn't know how calm she could stay. She needed to be strong for Grissom.

In their meeting with the sheriff, she had learned that he was perfectly capable of playing the game, so she let him take the lead in this.

The staring contest went on for a few more minutes until Ecklie decided that he'd hold the power through striking up the conversation. "If you're here to convince me to let you go on with your unethical behavior, you've come in vain.

He paused for dramatic effect, waiting for a reaction, any indication of them caving, but when there was none, he continued. "As Assistant Director, I cannot tolerate your unprofessional behavior. It's a disgrace to this lab and I will have to take actions."

Now he turned to face Grissom. "Your complete lack of supervisory skills have proven that your 'expertise' may lie somewhere else."

With that veiled threat, Ecklie sat back. He seemed satisfied with his little speech, even if he hadn't quite gotten the reactions he had hoped for.

The steady rhythm of Sara's breathing helped Grissom to focus. He didn't know what Ecklie was talking about exactly, but decided if he had something tangible on them, he wouldn't have waited to speak to them, instead going directly to the higher ups. He had tried to protect Sara from potential dangerous situations, but that had been all as far as he could tell.

Returning to the problem at hand, he chose his words carefully. "Before you file those complaints officially, I would like to see what you have documented so far."

His smug smile slipped a bit, but Ecklie recovered quickly and it was back in place in no time, meant to torment them further. "There will be an official investigation."

Even that didn't seem to faze them and Ecklie was getting nervous.

Grissom let him stew for a bit before finally moving in for the kill. "That's good for you, Conrad. I'm sure this is all in accordance with the sheriff. You know he doesn't like it if his decisions are overturned."

He let the words sink in slowly, working their way through Ecklie's brain. Once the meaning became clear to him, the color drained out of his face.

Looking at the other man's face, he could see the moment Ecklie did not only realize what Grissom had said, but also that he had lost.

It was then that Grissom came straight out with their news. "We're living together and we're expecting a baby."

There was only silence that greeted them from the other side of the desk. Ecklie seemed to be totally lost in his own thoughts, not really aware of them anymore.

Grissom hadn't said that much, but it had been enough.

Instead of yelling at them, threatening to fire them both, Ecklie seemed to have admitted defeat. Turning his gaze away from the other man, he looked at Sara, needing to know how she was holding up.

Outward, she appeared to be calm, but when he saw the expression in her eyes, he knew that she was scared how this would turn out. Apparently, she had also steeled herself for a verbal onslaught, and now she didn't know what to think.

At that moment, Grissom knew that he would always put her wellbeing before anything else. It didn't really matter how this meeting turned out, as long as Sara wasn't scared anymore. He had to end this here and now.

"We have to get back to work. I suggest you note this conversation in your files and if you feel that Sara and I haven't done our best to remain professional, then by all means, go and discuss things with the sheriff. If you would excuse us now…"

Even when they stood up and left, there was no visible reaction from Ecklie and Grissom could only hope that it would stay that way.

They had done the right thing.

xxxxx

Sara had held it together until they were back at his office, but as soon as the door closed behind her, she went pale and swayed.

In an instant, Grissom was by her side, ready to catch her if she fell. Luckily, it didn't come to that.

Sara was at least able to regain some of her balance, enough to walk over to the chairs in front of Grissom's desk and sit down.

"At the risk of sounding overprotective, have you eaten anything since yesterday?" Grissom was worried.

She hadn't been this affected after their meeting with the sheriff. If there was something wrong, he needed to know.

Sara's small nod was not enough to appease his growing unease. "Sara?"

Her shoulders slumped and she seemed to fold into herself. "I ate a bit of cereal, but it wouldn't stay down."

At her explanation, Grissom felt anger rising, but he worked hard not to let it reach the surface. Getting sick was out of Sara's control.

He let his hands trail over her arms, trying his best to comfort her and show her that he was not mad. His actions had the desired effect and she relaxed somewhat.

Her back was no longer rigid and her breathing turned slow and even again. "I don't think it's morning sickness. It was more the stress of having to face Ecklie and, if things got really out of hand, everyone else."

To Grissom's surprise, he could detect a hint of shame in her voice. Although he didn't know why she would feel that way, an analysis of her past behavior only left two viable options: either she was ashamed that she had let it go this far – not eating and running herself ragged – or that she wasn't stronger in facing Ecklie without her fear.

Both were very real possibilities, and maybe they were both true.

"I was scared how this would turn out as well. But I'm not pregnant." He took a deep breath and sought out her eyes.

"Sara, you need to take care of yourself. I can't and I won't keep you under 24/7 observation. But, I need you to tell me if something's wrong. Anything. Just tell me."

Her nod was small, but he saw it and let his head hang in relief. He took a few seconds to compose himself before he looked up again. "Now, why don't you rest while I get you something to eat and drink?"

Before she could protest, Grissom had pulled her up and lead her over to his chair. "This will be more comfortable. Any preferences?"

Every protest she might have had died because she realized that Grissom was right. She needed a break. She couldn't keep going if she didn't get something with nutritional value into her system and relax a bit.

"A sandwich will do," she acquiesced and leaned back, closing her eyes.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Growing Period.

Part XXI

Summary: Sometimes making adjustments is not easy.

A/N: I'm sorry for being so late, but I just couldn't get to it sooner. The next part might also take a while. I hope you still enjoy this chapter.

xxxxx

Sara was glad to be able to sit down in Grissom's comfortable office chair and leave work outside for now. She needed a break.

Her feet were aching; she felt every single one of her bones and she was tired – dead tired. Shift had seemed so much longer today, although it was barely after the official end and she hadn't had an overly trying case. No, this was baby-tired.

She had gained some weight, and although she was happy to finally see their baby growing, she wasn't used to the additional strength she needed to get through the day. It made her tired, sometimes up to the point of exhaustion.

Grissom was doing a very good job of taking care of her, letting her rest in his office if it all became too much for her. They were able to keep their promise to the sheriff and remain professional, but offering her his office whenever she needed a break was a concession Grissom was willing to fight for.

Today, it would be nothing to raise eyebrows about because shift was already over. She wanted to wait for Grissom, who was still running some tests, and this was the best place to be.

They were meeting Alex at ten-thirty and she didn't want to go home in the mean time. A quick look at her watch told her that they still had more than enough time.

She leaned back and closed her eyes.

The rumors had started to fly once she began showing, but no one came directly forward and asked. She had overheard some comments in passing, ranging from 'Finally!' to 'This kid's going to kick ass with those brains' to 'How scary is that thought?'

Grissom had grumbled and had to keep from saying anything in return. This was too much attention for his liking. Hell, it was too much for her liking as well.

Suddenly, something in the room changed. She could feel his presence inching closer until he stood right behind the chair and began massaging her shoulders and neck.

A groan escaped from her lips as her head rolled from side to side. It felt so good and he knew exactly how to hit the right spots.

When he finished, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head and moved to lean on his desk. "Should we postpone the shopping trip and go home so we can rest?"

Finally, Sara opened her eyes again, showing her gratitude for his offer. He had gotten better at catering to her needs. It wasn't that he hadn't been trying to help her from the beginning on, but it wasn't until that one incident a few weeks ago that Grissom had really made the effort to read her every mood.

She blamed it on hormones, falling back on the one excuse a pregnant woman could always rely on. It hadn't been her intention to make Grissom more than a little bit afraid of her reaction. It had just happened.

She was only glad that she had been home when she lost it. It was so stupid.

She had been overly tired, having worked a long shift, and when she had come home to find a package lying on the door step, she hadn't thought much about it. It had been addressed to Grissom and was from one of the professors at the university that he had contact with so she just took it in. She had been so tired that she hadn't noticed the small holes on the sides.

She was dropping her keys on the small table beside the door, when the flap on one side opened and something fell out. With a loud crash it hit the ground. She looked down and saw something brown with six legs scurry away, a broken plastic box lying on the tile floor.

She had cursed Grissom nine ways to Sunday and hadn't even bothered to try and catch it. Instead, she had called Grissom to bitch at him and get him home.

The real breakdown, however, came when Grissom found the elusive roach and told her that the fall had injured the animal.

She had started crying, not really knowing why. She didn't like his insects, merely tolerated them, but somehow she couldn't not cry.

Grissom tried everything to tell her that it wasn't so bad and that roaches in particular had an amazing regenerative ability. It had taken him almost an hour to fully calm her down, and he had taken this incident to heart. Since then, he had always checked with her, seeing if she wanted or needed anything.

More than one sharp look kept his caring from becoming too overbearing, but they had seemed to reach an understanding - everything in the right dosage.

The last few weeks had also helped her get better at accepting the protection and care that Grissom offered. They were still moving forward.

"So?" Grissom asked again, recapturing her attention.

"No, it'll pass. We can rest when we get home." Her voice sounded firm and the tiredness had receded to the point where she could get up again.

"You want to go shopping. I need to mark that off on the calendar," he joked, pulling her up by her arms into his embrace.

"Shut up and let's go."

xxxxx

When they pulled into the parking lot of the baby store, Alex was already waiting for them. She walked over to them and shook hands in greeting.

When they had made the plans to go shopping, they realized how clueless they both were. Buying linens with Lauren had been easy, but now they needed furniture and other necessities…and they had no clue where to start.

After more than one frustrating brainstorming session as to what to do, Sara had proposed that they get professional help. The Knightleys had been the logical choice.

The other couple had been delighted by the news, congratulating them excitedly. Alex had been more than willing to help them find what they needed and they had agreed to meet here after shift. Patrick was back home watching Amelia because taking her along would be too much and they wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything.

Together, the three of them entered the baby store that Alex had recommended. They would try this store, but if they didn't find anything to their liking, there were several more Alex said they could try.

Their walkthrough was actually quite pleasant with Alex pointing out details here and there that they would have to remember and soon they had found several sets of furniture that were not only functional but also matched the theme they had come up with for the baby's room.

Considering Grissom's passion and the linen set they had already bought, they had agreed to create a 'forest in the desert.' Sara wanted to paint a few leaves on the wall and liven them up with some insects – of course only harmless ones like lady bugs, butterflies and such. After the little mishap from before, there certainly wouldn't be any roaches.

Grissom indulged her and agreed to keep the bugs moderate, but he was still pleased that Sara had agreed to it at all. She had just smiled and told him that because being an entomologist was part of him, it would be a part of their baby.

When they had told Alex what they had planned, she had laughed and told them to visit their 'jungle.' Apparently, Amelia's room was decorated like a jungle with lots of painted and stuffed animals as well as a lot of painted plants.

They went over their choices again and narrowed it down further to only two sets. One was a light wood, maple, and the other one was plain white.

"They are both beautiful and functional."

Sara nodded at Alex's comment and let her hand glide over the bars of one of the beds.

"The last decision has to be yours so I'll leave you two alone." Alex promised to be back in fifteen minutes and headed to another part of the store.

Sara's hand was still on the bed and Grissom stepped up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Wanna talk this out or do you have a feeling about one of them?"

Sara shrugged, her scientific nature warring with a feeling. Grissom had hit the nail on the head and she marveled at how well he knew her.

Suddenly, Grissom leaned even closer and whispered in her ear. "Go with your feeling, honey."

Goosebumps rose from her flesh as she felt every one of his breaths so close to her. "Where can you see our baby?"

A smile brushed over her lips as her mind imagined their baby in its room. It was then that she realized that she had already made a decision.

She knew which set she wanted.

"What about you? And don't tell me you'll leave it all up to me. That's not how this works." There was no anger in her voice, just some frustration, and it didn't take long for Grissom to cave.

"The white one."

No explanation, no rationalizations, just a feeling; that was how he had decided.

When he saw Sara smile, he knew that that had been her choice as well. He nodded and softly kissed her cheek. "Then that's what we'll get."

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Growing Period.

Part XXII

Summary: Grissom is ready to take the next step, but he needs a little help.

A/N: Thank you for all of the nice reviews. I hope that I'll be able to post the rest of the chapters regularly again.

xxxxx

The next few weeks were spent shopping, trying to find everything Alex said they might need for the baby. She was a big help, accompanying them on the shopping trips or just giving advice on the phone whenever they needed it.

They saw more of Amelia as well, using the time with her to 'practice' some more. Alex and Patrick had both become a great support and Grissom wasn't sure they could have organized everything as quickly and efficiently without them.

He also knew that Catherine was a little hurt that they hadn't asked her, but when she saw the result, a few happy tears began to slide down her cheeks. She had hugged Grissom and wished him the best, telling him how glad she was that he had finally opened up and that this was his reward.

To compensate for not involving her in their shopping trips so far, they had come up with another task for Catherine. She had been excited to see that they hadn't bought any clothes and readily agreed to pick out the first few outfits for the baby. However, they made her promise to get something gender neutral and not go over the top.

They had decided not to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl because they didn't favor one side or the other. Most people said it didn't matter, but it did – at least in their eyes. They just couldn't find more positive or negative points for either side.

A girl, like Amelia, would be great, but a boy would be something different, and that didn't scare Grissom as much as he had thought. On the contrary, he felt excited at the thought. His picture of the future kept changing everyday.

Sara had once compared hjm to a ten-year-old boy who couldn't decide if he wanted to be a cowboy or an astronaut. The metaphor was odd, but somehow fit the situation.

Whatever the baby turned out to be, Grissom was looking forward to it.

Once the room had been readied, an eerie calm had overcome both of them. They were still scared of doing something wrong, but thanks to the new family surrounding them, each other's stability, counseling and the progress they'd both made since the beginning of their relationship, they had finally been able to relax and start genuinely enjoying this time.

Sara felt much better as well, showing a new confidence that made Grissom smile whenever she walked into the room. However, she still tired easily, and because of that, she was relieved when the baby's room was furnished and they didn't have to go shopping anymore.

Her belly had grown steadily and she'd ordered some new clothes. A couple of the outfits drew a grin from Grissom when she showed them to him. Besides work and casual clothes, she had bought some form fitting tops that accentuated, rather than hid, her growing stomach, as well as a nightgown that did naughty things to his imagination.

However, besides what the outfits did for him, it also told him something about her. Her new confidence was not only a brave act, she was really feeling it.

Things were definitely going their way and that was why Grissom decided to take the next step.

xxxxx

The whole process turned out to be more than frustrating. They had made it this far and now he was hung up on finding the right ring.

He had always thought that the tales about this part were just fiction, but now he had to realize that it was no exaggeration at all.

The problem was, among other things, that he had a tight budget. Sure, he had saved some money, but with the house and the baby, he didn't want to spend too much. Sara wouldn't appreciate that either.

It had to be something simple, yet stylish - something that wasn't his child's college tuition. He had seen a couple of nice rings but decided they were out of his price range.

This was his third trip shopping, and this time he had brought in the reinforcements. Brass was in the car with him, looking curious, for he had no idea where they were going. When Grissom finally pulled up in front of a diner, he turned to ask him, "So, are you ever gonna tell me what this is about?"

"Let's get some coffee," was the only answer he got as Grissom left him sitting alone in the car.

Once they were seated at a table, waiting for their coffee, Grissom finally let Brass in on his plan. "I'm going to ask Sara to marry me."

The words came out in a rush and shocked Brass, making him speechless. That was not what he had expected.

He hadn't seen this one coming and was even more surprised that Grissom asked him to…what?

"I've been trying to find a ring, but so far, I haven't been successful."

The fog lifted and Brass groaned. "Oh no, you just _had _to get me into hot water with Catherine again. If she finds out that I knew..."

Grissom had to suppress his laughter, but it still came out as a chuckle.

"Yeah, for you that's funny. She's gonna kill me when she finds out." Brass was only half joking, knowing how sensitive Catherine was in that regard and how ugly things could get.

"Relax - I don't plan to spring this on her like last time. And I really need help."

Brass leaned back, observing Grissom. He was really serious. It was obvious that he wanted this and was desperate enough to call for help. "Alright, what do you need me for?"

Grissom smiled and leaned back as well. "I need something simple and elegant and the price can't exceed what we have to spend for the baby in the first year."

Remembering when Ellie had been born, Brass nodded. He knew that a baby was expensive and he could understand that Grissom wanted to keep this as low key as possible. "I think I know a few places where we could try."

He saw Grissom relaxing, and suddenly, a thought shot through his head. "Now I know why you didn't ask Catherine. You were scared she was going to cost you house and home."

xxxxx

With Brass' help, he had indeed found a ring that matched his visions _and_ his bank account.

It had taken them three trips, but they had finally found something Sara would hopefully like.

The ring had parallel bands at the back, transitioning into an X at the front. The ring was solely white gold, save the prominant half of the crisscrossed front of the band that held several small diamond accents, making it look even more elegant.

Now, he just had to figure out how to ask her. The traditional 'down on one knee' didn't feel right. That wasn't them.

He needed to ask differently, but not be too extravagant. He hadn't asked Brass because this was really something he had to figure out by himself. He was grateful that his friend had helped him find the right store, but that was as far as it went.

If only he knew how to do this.

When he got home, Sara wasn't back from her movie 'night' with Nick, but that didn't bother him. It gave him more time to think.

To clear his head, he went upstairs to take a shower. However, when he passed the baby's room, something drew him inside. He looked around, wondering what had made him come in here. Everything was as it should be.

He walked over and sat down in the rocker, still looking around. The room was perfect.

Sara had outdone herself with the paint job on the walls. It really looked like a small forest without being too overwhelming. The crib was still empty because they didn't want dust to settle on the bedding, but he could imagine how amazing it would look with the ladybug linens.

Grissom had to smile at that thought. His child would grow up surrounded by vegetation and bugs. He knew that Sara tolerated his little friends because he liked them. She only found them interesting in a criminalistic sense, but other than that, she didn't particularly like them. Some day, he would have to find a way to show her how grateful he was for her patience.

Despite her paradoxical relationship with bugs, Sara liked animals. That was why she had agreed to the wildlife theme in the baby's room.

Maybe he could work with that…and suddenly, he knew what he wanted to do.

It was private, not the run of the mill proposal, but not too over the top glamorous or crazy.

He just needed to call in a few favors.

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Growing Period.

Part XXIII

Summary: Grissom puts his plan into motion.

A/N: I am so sorry for not getting this posted sooner, as I had promised. I really thought I could make it but me and my beta were so busy that we couldn't get this done sooner. I hope you all forgive me.

xxxxx

Sara was nervous. She wasn't worried about herself - it was more a reaction to Grissom's behavior over the last few days.

She could feel the restlessness that he radiated. He tried not to let it show, but their relationship had grown enough for her to notice the little things.

Usually not prone to nervous habits, it was when he started playing with his glasses, or when he was deep in thought and licked his lips instead of just letting his tongue peek out from time to time that Sara had noticed these little things and had learned to read them.

Another thing that seemed off was that he was often lost in thought and she was almost positive that it wasn't about work. He also did it when there was no trying case in sight.

All in all, she could tell that he was preoccupied with something, and it worried her that he hadn't said _anything_.

When her first suspicions turned into more solid ones, she had vowed to give him a couple of days more to work it out on his own, but if he hadn't by the end of the week, she would confront him.

That had been two days ago and now she was in his car, feeling that this was it. Whatever had bothered him recently had them driving out of the city.

He had approached her as soon as they had gotten home, telling her to rest because he wanted to take her out in the evening.

No matter how much she begged him, he didn't give up anything. The only information he had given her was to dress nice but casual.

She tried to identify the direction they were taking, and to her surprise, she soon realized that they were headed for the wildlife park. Her stomach did a flip-flop.

This could only mean that they were about to have a serious talk. She didn't know what unsettled her more, the fact that she didn't know what this was about or that she knew it had to be something serious.

With both of them being nervous, the ride passed in silence, giving her way too much time to think.

She came up with a lot of worst case scenarios, but most of them were not to be taken seriously. However, there was one that scared her because it had the possibility to become real.

What if he couldn't deal with the reality of having a baby?

What if – despite all of the positive signs – he wasn't ready?

The ever-growing bump was a constant reminder that no one could ignore anymore. What if it had gotten to be too much for him?

She felt sick, trying to suppress the bile that rose in her throat.

Her rational mind told her to stop being a pessimist and think of positive things. Grissom wouldn't do that to her and the recent developments showed that they were both looking forward to the baby.

"Sara," Grissom called, trying to get her attention. "Don't brood. It's nothing bad; I promise."

He reached over and stopped her from wringing her hands. She let go and he brought one hand up to his lips, kissing it softly.

The knot in her stomach eased up and she relaxed again. She wondered why she still doubted him after all this time, but the answer wasn't hard to find. Right now, she was emotionally fragile and her old experiences were coming back to the forefront of her mind.

He had strung her along for years, and although they had resolved those issues between them, sometimes the memories still hurt.

She knew it would come up again if she didn't address it now. "I don't want to ruin our evening, but whenever I don't know what to expect, I panic. I can't help it," she rushed out, wanting to say this so he wouldn't misunderstand what she was trying to say.

"You hurt me in the past and although I've tried to let it go, sometimes, when I'm feeling particularity insecure, those old feelings rear their ugly head. I get scared that you will change your mind."

She couldn't believe that she had found the courage to tell him about the last blockade on the road to complete openness.

Grissom was silent for a while, thinking about her words.

Sara knew that it hurt him to hear this, but if they wanted to go the last distance, it was necessary.

"I...what I did was wrong. I have no excuse for my behavior. The pain that I've caused still haunts me and I promise you that I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

It was obvious that he wanted to say more, but instead he settled on a simple "I love you."

He fell silent and Sara let the words fill her whole being before responding. "Keep telling me that and never doubt that I love you too."

She smiled at him and leaned back in her seat. For the rest of the ride, she kept repeating his spontaneous declaration in her head.

xxxxx

When they arrived at the park, Sara was disappointed to see that the gates were closed. She looked over at Grissom, but he had already gotten out of the car and was rounding the front to get to her side.

He helped her out and led her over to a small side entrance next to the office building. He produced a card key and opened the gate.

Sara was surprised by all of this, but since Grissom seemed to know what he was doing, she went along with him.

He turned to her, smiling and holding out his hand to let her pass. Once they were inside the darkened park, Grissom let his hand drift to the small of her back and began to lead her down the main path until they came to an illuminated area.

"Tonight, we have the park to ourselves." He pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms.

"Patrick was nice enough to grant us entrance and light up the areas that are interesting, even after dark."

Slowly, her initial confusion began to lift and she was floored that Grissom would go through so much trouble for her. A smile spread over her face and she leaned in to show him her appreciation.

When they pulled apart, Grissom's hand cupped her face and, leaning his forehead against hers, he whispered, "I love you."

Before she could do anything to stop it, tears were pooling in her eyes. This romantic side of him was a bit too much for her emotions. "Thank you. For everything. Don't ever worry about not showing me how you feel enough. _This_ is great, but you prove it to me every day."

Focusing on choosing the right words helped her fight the tears so they didn't fall. "I love you, too."

She initiated another kiss and felt him smile. The knowledge that she could do this whenever she felt like it and that Grissom was willing to give so much to her made her body tingle, infusing her with warmth. She never wanted anything or anyone else.

When they separated this time, Grissom put a little more space between them, but kept an arm around her. "Ready to explore?"

At her nod, he quickly pulled her closer and dropped one last kiss on her forehead before leading her down the next illuminated path.

The soft lights on both sides showed them the way and guided them towards the areas that were interesting at night. Sara was fascinated by the level of activity that was displayed at this hour. At one point, she commented on how fitting this all was. These animals were 'night owls' just like them. Grissom had laughed but agreed with her assessment.

They took their time wandering though the park until Sara felt Grissom slowing down.

His attention was not with her anymore and when she followed his gaze, she saw an illuminated small pavilion.

When she looked back at him, she found him smiling at her. "Come on, let's sit down."

There was something different in his eyes and his voice, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She could feel a slight tension coming from him and when he steered her over, she swore she felt him hesitate for a second.

The mood shift wasn't unusual for Grissom, but it still worried her a bit when he did that. The worst thing was, she could do nothing but sit it out.

Right now, that meant going along with everything he wanted, and if he wanted to sit down, then she would join him.

She smiled at him and let him lead her over to the pavilion. They took at seat facing the cacti garden that lay beneath it.

Grissom kept staring straight ahead, obviously lost in thought, but he hadn't forgotten about her. He still had his arm around her, keeping her warm with his body heat.

She sensed that he needed more time and was fully willing to give it to him when Grissom surprised her by speaking. "I know this is not the most romantic spot on earth. It's just a cacti field. It's different, but anything else just wouldn't be me."

His words confused her even more, but she had long since resigned herself to the fact that sometimes that was just how he was.

"I wanted us to have this night away, and despite the fact that I'm probably one of the most unromantic men ever, I wanted to make this night special."

He turned to face her, showing her everything he felt in his eyes. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that this was romantic and he was not unromantic, but suddenly she saw something else.

At that moment, she knew what was about to come.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Growing Period.

Part XXIV

Summary: Grissom tries to ask the big question, but it's not going accordingly to his plan.

A/N: This is it, well almost. There will be a small epilogue, but I'm still working on that. I really hope that you enjoy this.

xxxxx

Grissom was speechless.

Sara had robbed him of the words that he had spent days mapping out by simply smiling at him.

It wasn't her normal smile - not even her special Grissom smile. This was different.

This was a smile that said she knew and was absolutely and totally happy…and it rendered him mute.

She was waiting for him to say something, but he just couldn't speak.

Quickly analyzing the situation, Grissom realized there was only one way left to avoid ruining this. He reached into his pocket and located what he was looking for.

When he pulled out a small vial, he could see Sara's brows draw together in confusion. This was not what she had expected.

Gaining confidence from his ability to still surprise her, Grissom smiled again and handed the vial to Sara.

She turned it over a couple of times in her hands before opening it. Pink glitter flowed all over her hand and she looked at him, puzzled.

"That was what started it all," was the only explanation he gave her. It didn't take long until recognition set in as she remembered Brass telling her about the pink glitter and how Grissom had fallen in love with a little girl. It was indeed what had started it all, what had changed things for the better.

When nothing more fell out, she lifted the vial and used her pinky finger to extract a small slip of paper.

Unraveling it and shaking some residual glitter off, she could see Grissom's distinctive scrawl.

_As it seems, my words have failed me, but since I didn't want to ruin everything, I put them on paper beforehand.  
Sara, you're the best thing that ever happened to me.  
I love you with everything that I have and I never want to lose that again.  
Would you marry me?_

When Sara looked up again, Grissom was waiting.

He had pulled something else out of his pocket, and this time it was the box she had expected. Once he was sure that she was focused on him, he opened the box with a flick of his wrist.

Dimly, he heard Sara gasp, but his heart was pumping so furiously that everything else was drowned out, so he kept his gaze on her.

The tables seemed to have turned and now it was Sara who was trying to get some words out. Her throat seemed to have closed up and the only thing she could do was smile and nod.

That was enough for Grissom, and he took the ring out of the box to carefully slide it onto her finger.

His hands were amazingly calm and didn't tremble one bit, which surprised him.

As he lifted his eyes from her hand to her face, he found her totally focused on him, still giving him a bright smile.

The remaining doubts that he was not really what she needed flew away when he took in that look. She was radiant. She was carrying his child and she was willing to become his wife. She loved him and she was happy.

At that realization, he couldn't resist.

He pulled her closer, and when she couldn't move any further from her current position, he helped her up to pull her fully into him. It was awkward to be in such an intimate position outside the safety of their home, but right now, Grissom didn't give a damn. He wanted her as close as possible.

Sara had closed her eyes and was leaning sideways against him, softly nuzzling his neck.

He was tempted to give in and shut his mind off, but one little thing was nagging at him.

He and Sara were good at nonverbal communication, so good that sometimes the others were spooked by their behavior. However, the past had also proven that sometimes, they crossed a line, taking it too far and sliding into a misunderstanding.

He knew that tonight, it was very clear what this was about and although there was no potential for miscommunication, he still felt that they needed something more. He needed to say those words and he needed to hear Sara's answer.

He took a deep breath and then focused on every single word. "I love you."

Sara stopped her ministrations and looked at him. "Would you marry me?"

When she looked at him curiously, he started to explain, "I need to hear it and I need you to hear it."

Sara just smiled and nuzzled his neck again. Grissom was about to stop her when he felt her moving up to his ear. Letting her complete the action, he felt her nip at his lobe before moving a little bit further.

Her breathy "yes" made him shiver.

xxxxx

Sara leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes and letting the continuous motion of the car lull her into a state near sleep.

She was beyond happy.

Although she had never imagined herself to be a woman who would be ecstatic at the thought of having the perfect proposal and being tied down by tradition and a ring, she had to admit that she couldn't be happier.

Grissom had really pulled it off and surprised her. It didn't matter that it wasn't the perfect proposal every woman was supposed to long for. What mattered was that she knew he really meant it.

Grissom had done the best he could and in her eyes that made it perfect. She wouldn't want it any other way.

Gil Grissom had asked her to marry him.

Looking back on all of the years their relationship had to survive, she still couldn't believe they had come this far. They had grown so much, and with them, their relationship had as well.

Sara knew they would never stop growing because that was what life was about, but it felt so damn good to be at this point. She wanted to stay like this for a while longer.

Any relationship, but especially theirs, required a lot of work on both sides, but they had shown that they were willing to invest everything they had in this. They would make it work.

Sensing that they had almost reached their destination, Sara fought to open her eyes.

She was surprised to see that they weren't at the lab. It was almost time for work and she had expected him to drive there straight from the park. Instead, he had brought them home.

She looked at him questioningly, wondering if she had underestimated him again. Maybe this surprise evening was not finished.

Grissom smiled and reached over, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "We're both off tonight. I wanted us to be able to relax and enjoy our time together."

He had really taken care of everything.

And it was supposed to be less than perfect?

Sara reached over and took Grissom's hand. Making sure that he maintained eye contact, she tried to make him understand.

"Don't ever say that this isn't perfect because to me, it is. You took so much care in planning this day and you made me love you even more for staying true to us. This is our day. You made it ours and it was perfect."

Sara saw that he was about to turn away to hide his emotions, but she was faster. Her other hand touched his face, and with gentle pressure, he relented to her.

He must have put more of himself into this because what she saw was not something that was visible on any normal day.

Grissom bared his soul to her – everything.

For a moment, everything in her tightened, realizing what power she held, but when her next thought told her that it was the same for him, the tension was released, making her feel lighter.

Even though it was awkward, she couldn't help but pull him closer, leaning over the center console as far as she could.

The moment their lips touched, she forgot everything else.

She didn't care about a wedding or how official the baby would make their relationship.

They were together – with everything they had.


	25. Chapter 25

Growing Period.

Epilog

Summary: Things have changed.

A/N: This is it. I can't believe that I really finished this story. Thank you for the lovely reviews I've gotten and of course thanks to my wonderful betas. Without Ace and Muriel I couldn't have done this.  
Thank you for sticking with this and I really hope you're going to enjoy this end.

xxxxx

"That's a Cooper's hawk. When they look for food, it looks as if they're standing in the air. But it's only warm air."

The brief explanation was rewarded with something akin to a smile, which in turn made the girl who had spoken smile as well. A small gap between the girl's upper front teeth was revealed and her eyes shone with pride that she had done something right.

"Very good, Chipmunk."

Amelia looked up at Sara, still smiling. She was proud that the adults didn't baby her and let her explain things. "The baby needs to know everything!" she told them, her voice absolutely serious.

Amelia's love for animals had only intensified and she seemed intent on passing her already vast knowledge on to the newest addition to their little circle.

It didn't matter that at four months, the baby was too young to understand what Amelia was talking about. She felt useful and grown up while explaining things.

"Yes, she does. I hope that you'll tell us something about another animal every time we're here. Deal?" Grissom bent down to be at the girl's eye level and held his hand out.

Amelia didn't hesitate and shook his hand. "Deal!"

She smiled again before turning around and running towards the next enclosure.

It was good that some things didn't change.

Others, however, never stopped changing and therefore kept growing.

He looked up at Sara, who had that same thought written all over her face.

"Still scared?" he asked, standing up and taking her into his arms.

"Yes, but that's okay. It will keep me from falling into a routine and making mistakes." Sara looked down, taking in everything about their 'little bug.'

It was still a bit early to tell for sure, but Grissom seemed to have gotten what he wanted: dark curly hair, deep chocolate brown eyes and a smile that made him melt. Only the gap was missing, but who knew what would be when her teeth finally started growing?

Secretly, she hoped there wouldn't be a gap, but either way, their baby was perfect.

She never would have thought that being a mother would come to her naturally after the baby was born. The time they had spent preparing every possible way seemed to have come to fruition. She hadn't been scared of holding her, picking her up, changing her, playing with her - of 'breaking something.' She was still scared that she might hurt her, most of all emotionally, but not by doing the simple things.

Leonor was quiet by nature, making it easy for them. The others had been surprised by just how quiet she seemed to be. They had expected her to be more like Sara, being on the move constantly, but in that regard, she seemed to take after Grissom – at least for now.

Every day, there was something new they discovered about her and tried to match the trait to either of them. So far, she seemed to be a perfect mix.

"What about you?" When Sara looked back up, she found Grissom gazing at their child with such love that it blew her away.

Even at four months she had them both wrapped around her tiny little finger, but neither of them really minded. This was their perfect little girl and they were supposed to be absolutely smitten with her.

"Yes, but that's okay," he mimicked her, telling her so much more with his smile. "If I stop being scared, that's when I'll start to worry."

Brass had been right. It was so much scarier now that the baby was really there, looking at him, smiling at him, crying for him. But the fear wasn't as strong as the love he felt and the confidence that Sara and their relationship gave him.

Two years ago, none of this would have been possible. He and Sara had to grow and their relationship had to develop with them.

"Can I tell the baby about the chipmunks?" Amelia's voice ripped through their moment, but it didn't bother them.

After all, how could they be mad at the little angel who had helped them overcome their demons?

Grissom mouthed "I love you" to Sara before nodding to Amelia and taking her hand.

"I love you, too."

The end!


End file.
